Host Family dynamics

When Your New and Old Au Pairs Get Jealous of Each Other

by cv harquail July 6, 2014

How hard is it to see the incoming au pair making connections with the kids, settling into the AuPair room, learning to drive in the USA, and talking about all she’s going to do in her year of adventure? If you’re the host mom, it’s not hard at all– you *want* to see this. But if […]

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Extreme Scheduling: Is it fair to an Au Pair?

by cv harquail June 27, 2014

Extreme Scheduling: When you use all your 45 ‘on duty’ hours in one fell swoop People actually do this. I’ve heard from au pairs who are scheduled for three days in a row when no parents are otherwise present, even at ‘off duty’ times (such as when a mom is a pilot and works in 3 […]

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Bridging Yards, Bridging Cultures, Guest Post by Amy Massey

by Amy Massey May 29, 2014

bridge between two back yards, with girls lauging

Here’s a guest post from Amy Massey, a long-time reader, a host mom, and now a placement director with A.P.EX PROaupair. Amy writes about her experiences as a host parent who — like her backyard neighbor– has a child with special needs. Please note that this post isn’t sponsored by PROaupair, nor is it an advertisement […]

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Blended Family Challenge: Half-Time Custody but Full Time Au Pair?

by cv harquail March 20, 2014

My partner and I have three daughters between us and are looking into the AuPair Educare program. All three of are girls are in school full time and we would essentially only need before and after care. The question is: We have our daughters every other week. We attempt to have all three of them […]

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Divorce Difficulties: When Your Ex-Spouse Gets an Au Pair

by cv harquail March 12, 2014

Childcare arrangements for families with two sets of parents can be difficult for everyone. The non-custodial parent often has very little influence over the childcare choices the custodial parent makes. If this parent knows very little about Au Pairs as a concept, or has only met Au Pairs who have not made a good […]

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Au Pair Appreciation: Cross-Cultural Connections with Our Children

by cv harquail February 5, 2014

It been a year and a half since our beloved Educare AP, R, left us to return home for university, but she remains a strong presence in our lives. She is present through her letters, and especially through the lessons she taught the children. Our children were in third grade and kindergarten when she was […]

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The “Fire Or Blood” Rule for Au Pairs With Work-At-Home Parents

by cv harquail January 20, 2014

I saw this photo on Twitter today and it cracked me up. It reminded me of my own (vain? valiant?) attempts to teach my au pairs and now my tweenagers when it is and isn’t okay to interrupt me in my home office. (Remember this photo?) These days, I’ve shifted to a […]

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When a Host Parent Is Diagnosed With Asbergers, How Does This Reshape The Au Pair Relationship?

by cv harquail October 13, 2013

We’ve had some wonderfully honest, thoughtful and insightful conversations here on Au Pair Mom about how to manage relationship dynamics with Au Pairs who have emotional challenges or histories, and children who have cognitive or developmental ‘special needs’ — chronic cognitive or relational challenges that families need to support. But we haven’t even talked about […]

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The Two Biggest Reasons Host Parents Push the Limits of the Au Pair Program

by cv harquail July 18, 2013

Host Parents in the AuPairMom community do their very best to follow the spirit and the letter of the Au Pair Program. Yet even the most honorable, rule-abiding host parents can feel pressure to push the limits of the Au Pair program. Why? Because — as designed– an Au Pair working according to the rules […]

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Sample Family Handbook, with sections on Food from HM P

by cv harquail March 22, 2013

Family Handbooks should all cover a core set of topics including schedule, safety, child care rules, car rules, and family rules. Beyond these topics, we each need to add specifically what’s important to OUR family. At my house, this means a section on “How to Adore Coco (our dog)” and another on “Traveling Safely in NYC”. In […]

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