Host Child(ren) Relationships

Angry 11 yr old, Avoidant Parents- what’s an au pair to do?

by cv harquail March 27, 2011

Dear AuPairMom — Hi, I was using google to look for some advice when I came across your website. I’m an au pair and I’ve been living in the US for 3 months now and at the minute, my 9 months remaining just feels like the longest time. I look after 2 kids and I’m […]

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Arguments between my child and my Au Pair are driving me nuts!

by cv harquail March 5, 2011

Dear Au Pair Mom readers– Our au pair has been with us for 1 1/2 months. She’s 19, Italian, and speaks excellent English. She cares for our daughter while I work part-time the house, part-time out. The problem is that our daughter, who is about to turn 4, is having a hard time with this […]

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Improving the Relationship between your Au Pair and Your Kids

by cv harquail February 17, 2011

A request from VtMom — Dear Au Pair Mom readers –I have a minor issue that’s been bothering me and wanted to solicit the collective wisdom of the group. Compared to other posts on this blog, I have nothing to complain about. Instead, my issue surrounds something that’s “nice to have.” Background: We have three […]

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Candid, awkward issue: Choosing Au Pairs who are obese

by cv harquail January 26, 2011

AuPairMom is a place where we host parents (and au pairs) can talk about issues that only other host parents and au pairs can understand. Often, these issues are tough ones that touch upon cultural differences, style differences, political differences, and deep personal preferences. Every now and then, we get a topic that we want […]

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My Child Doesn’t Want an Au Pair (and we need to have one). Ideas?

by cv harquail November 2, 2010

I am a single HM, with a wonderful, but very strong willed 5yr old girl. We had our first AP in June for 10 weeks this year to see how it worked for us and to cover the 6 wk school holidays. I had previously had a month off work sick, but normally work full […]

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How can I get my Au Pair to CALM DOWN! Guest Post by CalifMom

by CalifMom October 27, 2010

[Even though she’s out on the edge here, I had to tell you that this was written by CalifMom. Of course, you’ll recognize her voice, but I want to make sure she gets public credit because she’s so damn darn funny. That said, do NOT give this momma a hard time about her *&^$ and […]

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When Grandma Interferes in the Au Pair-Host Parent Relationship

by cv harquail October 25, 2010

The only people who should be involved in the relationship between the Au Pair and his or her Host Parents are the au pair and the host parents. The au pair should get instruction and feedback directly from the parents, and the parents should focus on the au pair’s experiences with the family and the […]

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Explaining a Rematch to Host Children

by cv harquail October 22, 2010

“It’s not you, it’s me.” if there is one time we want an au pair to appear somewhat self-focused, it’s when he or she is explaining to host kids that they are going into rematch. When an au pair says goodbye to host children, the AP should offer an explanation that puts responsibility solely on […]

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Finding an Au Pair for a child with Special Needs: Willingness is not enough

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

When I first noticed that au pairs could indicate with a simple check mark whether they were “willing” to match with a family with host kids with special needs, I was surprised. I was pleased that there was an easy way for au pair candidates to indicate, without embarrassment, whether or not they felt they […]

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Integrating an Au Pair when your household has an Older Teen

by cv harquail September 27, 2010

If you have both little kids and an older Teen, what are the things you need to consider as you plan for your Au Pair? Carrie asks, because she and her husband are expecting a new baby, for whom she’d like an au pair caregiver. The challenge is that Carrie also has a son from a […]

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