Guidelines & rules

Your Au Pair’s Room: How much mess can you take?

by cv harquail December 14, 2009
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A host mom sent me a few photos of her au pair’s bedroom (taken with the au pair’s permission). The host mom was agonizing, because the room was a freaking mess. This family’s au pair was following the two most important bedroom-related rules: No dirty dishes and no candles/incense. But otherwise the place was a […]

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Advice Wanted: Damage Control for Possible Escape Artist

by cv harquail December 10, 2009
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Au Pair Host Mom “Not Smiling in Seattle” writes: I am hoping you readers have some honest input for us. My Au Pair last night announced her mother was ill and needs an operation. My first impression was “oh my gosh, is your mom ok?” When I asked for more information, our au pair could […]

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Bathe the Dog?

by cv harquail October 22, 2009
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“Is it too much to ask your au pair to wash the dog once and a while?” An anonymous person (host parent? au pair?) suggested that we address this question. Here’s my opinion: Yes, it is too much to ask your au pair to bathe your dog. Even a sweet, little, fluffy dog. Unless your […]

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Choosing an Au Pair: How to Avoid a Princess

by cv harquail September 26, 2009
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If only it were as easy as sticking a green vegetable underneath her mattress and waiting to see if she gets a good night’s sleep… We all want to avoid “the princess” – the au pair candidate who thinks the job is all about visiting the States, living in an American home, and having an […]

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R.T.F.M. Making sure your Au Pair Reads the Family Manual

by cv harquail September 17, 2009
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Long before there was OMG, ROTFLMAO and WTF, there was RTFM. R ead T he F (your favorite F word here. We use “family”) M anual We put a lot of work into those family manuals and handbooks, and we expect them to be useful to our Au Pairs. However, before the Au Pairs find […]

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Who pays for what?

by cv harquail September 7, 2009
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Sometimes the concept of treating an au pair like a ‘member of the family’ doesn’t give you enough guidance. This seems especially true when it comes to figuring out ‘who pays for what, when’. We got a request (using the Skribit feature) for a post that would heolp to establish some guidelines for this. I’ve […]

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Gossip Girls: When your AP tells stories, what can you do?

by cv harquail August 18, 2009
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Researchers in my field of organizational behavior&theory have found that gossip in organizations provides some useful functions, like lubricating relationships, creating interpersonal bonds, allowing people to express their fears, and perhaps most important, offering people an informal way to make sense of what’s going on around them. While it may be that gossip at work […]

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Hello? Your Au Pair needs good “phone manners”

by cv harquail June 25, 2009
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I just got off the phone with the au pair of one of my friends, and I had two serious problems during the call. Neither problem was caused by the au pair’s still-limited English. Both of these problems were cause by bad phone manners. Said another way, the problems would not even have occurred if […]

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Would you give your Au Pair a credit card?

by cv harquail June 25, 2009
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An anonymous reader of the post “Feeding my kids too much fast food” mentioned having had a problem with her au pair and credit cards: DO NOT EVER give your AP a credit card or debit card to use. We learned the hard way with our first AP. She was getting cash back with all […]

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Feeding my kids too much fast food… Now what?

by cv harquail June 21, 2009
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What is it about Au Pairs and fast food? Maybe because it’s so ‘American’, or because fast food outlets are ubiquitous, or because they are always warm, dry and welcoming public places, fast food emporiums seem to capture the attention of many an au pair. Au pairs seem to spend a lot of time at […]

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