Guidelines & rules

Teach Your Au Pair with Examples of Things Done Wrong– by Other People.

by cv harquail August 14, 2015

When teaching an Au Pair, it’s better to show than to tell. Whenever you can, point out when something is being done well or done right by your Au Pair, by your spouse, or by someone else. “I love that this nanny is putting the kids into the car from the curb, and not out […]

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Time for a Reset Conversation – with the Whole Family

by cv harquail July 7, 2015

Things were going to hell in a hand basket. Dishes clean but still in the dishwasher. Laundry folded and never put away. Children announcing that they needed to be driven here and picked up there, at the last minute. Spouse “having dinner with a client. I told you about it yesterday” but nothing written on […]

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Taking An Au Pair on Vacation: Hotel Room Arrangements

by cv harquail April 9, 2015

Already looking forward to your summer vacation? If you’re planning to bring your Au Pair, now is the time to start talking about vacation arrangements –especially how you plan to manage hotel rooms. Au Pairs should be provided with their own private room to sleep in — that’s what the Agencies require. The Agencies require […]

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Which Au Pair Rules Feel Flexible?

by cv harquail February 4, 2015

This is a companion post to “Which Host Family Rules Feel Flexible to Au Pairs?” Au Pair Program Rules are Great. One of the strongest elements of the US Au Pair Program is the framework created by the State Department rules. These clear and specific boundaries around work hours and work responsibilities help US Host Parents and […]

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Which Host Family Rules Feel Flexible to Au Pairs?

by cv harquail February 4, 2015

Okay, Au Pairs — It’s your turn to tell us which Host Family rules you feel it’s okay to be “flexible” with every now and then. [This is a companion post to “Which Au Pair Rules Feel Flexible?”] Since there is no set group of Host Family rules, I can’t create polls for specific ones. Instead, […]

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Saying No, and Staying Confident, When Your Au Pair Wants Your Car For A Roadtrip

by cv harquail December 4, 2014

Why do we find it so hard to stick to our guns when an au pair asks us to bend our rules? None of us wants to seem petty, or stingy, or selfish. On the contrary– we want to be generous where we can, we want to reward au pairs who do a great job […]

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Childcare vs. Child Chores: What’s a fair balance for an Au Pair?

by cv harquail November 7, 2014

An Au Pair’s primary role is child care– as in, caring for the actual child. Virtually no young adult comes to the US for a year to do a kid’s laundry, make the kid’s bed, or clean splashed applesauce off the kitchen floor. While the child-related housework chores are certainly part of the tasks […]

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Scheduling Your Au Pair: The Minimum Length of a Work Shift

by cv harquail July 11, 2014

The US State Department sets firm, legal parameters for scheduling an Au Pair. But the US State Department rules, and the contractual stipulations of each Au Pair Agency, form only the required, minimum guidelines for scheduling an Au Pair. Within this rough outline, host parents and au pairs need to negotiate what is sensible, fair, effective […]

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Extreme Scheduling: Is it fair to an Au Pair?

by cv harquail June 27, 2014

Extreme Scheduling: When you use all your 45 ‘on duty’ hours in one fell swoop People actually do this. I’ve heard from au pairs who are scheduled for three days in a row when no parents are otherwise present, even at ‘off duty’ times (such as when a mom is a pilot and works in 3 […]

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Photographing Host Children: What’s appropriate to shoot, and what’s appropriate to share?

by cv harquail April 7, 2014

All children are beautiful. When we, our au pairs, our families, and our friends see our beautiful child, it’s oh-so-tempting to try to hold that image of beauty still, to want to preserve it as a memory forever. When we adore these children, when we are proud of them, when we love them, we want […]

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