Systems

Your Au Pair is not a Maid

by cv harquail June 17, 2010
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What’s the difference between an au pair and a maid? In some host families, not very much. Some host families expect their au pairs to do basic housework in addition to caring for children. In the US, “housekeeping”is limited to cleaning up the kids rooms (but in my mind, not vacuuming them), keeping the play […]

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Tip: Insist on the Second-To-Last bus

by cv harquail June 16, 2010
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One of our guidelines is: “Take the second to last bus or train home. Never count on being able to get the very last bus. Always make sure you have a backup.” You might look at that and think we are controlling– but underneath that guideline (like so many others) is a real story of […]

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Au Pair Asks: How can I get my Host Mom to give me a schedule?

by cv harquail May 23, 2010
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Dear Au Pair Mom, I just find out this site, and I think it’s really helpful. You have a lot of useful information for all of us, and I would like some advice from host parents. I’m an Au Pair, and I just started the program. I’m here for two months and everything is incredible! […]

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4 Ways to Reduce “Seasonal Schedule Shift Syndrome”

by cv harquail May 18, 2010
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Seasonal Schedule Shift Syndrome: AuPairMom’s fancy name for “when your au pair gets grumpy because all of a sudden the whole schedule changes, and now s/he has to work an occasional Saturday night.” When school ends and ‘summertime’ begins, family schedules change. Rhythms for your kids’ days may change, as may your own work schedules. […]

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Help Your Au Pair Evaluate Potential Playdates

by cv harquail April 8, 2010
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I firmly believe that working on your au pair relationship makes you a better parent, directly and indirectly. Any time you have to stop and reflect on your parenting principles and your priorities for your kid(s), you have the opportunity to become more mindful about what you’re up to with your family. Here’s one of […]

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Scheduling your kid(s) week: Can the AP be in charge?

by cv harquail August 25, 2009
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I have a question for those seasoned HP’s… School has started for us. I was really prepared with the summer calendar so that the kids (very different ages and needs) were stimulated and the AP wasn’t overwhelmed. But now, one child is in school and the other child is bored. The younger one goes to […]

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Would you give your Au Pair a credit card?

by cv harquail June 25, 2009
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An anonymous reader of the post “Feeding my kids too much fast food” mentioned having had a problem with her au pair and credit cards: DO NOT EVER give your AP a credit card or debit card to use. We learned the hard way with our first AP. She was getting cash back with all […]

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Changing Visa status… should you get involved?

by cv harquail June 3, 2009
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Here’s an issue I know absolutely nothing about– whether or not to help an au pair change her visa status. Here’s our host mom’s question: I am a first-time Host parent with a second year Au Pair. She has been with us for 8 months and has decided that she’d like to change her Visa […]

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Extra Umbrellas and Hidden House Keys: The beauty of redundancy

by cv harquail April 30, 2009
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In my household, there are 7 sets of house keys. My husband knows about 4 sets, my au pair knows about 6 sets, and only I know about the 7th set. Similarly, we have: at least one umbrella in each of 3 cars, two or three umbrellas in the hall closet, one umbrella in my […]

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Advice wanted… best medium & process for communicating expectations?

by cv harquail April 5, 2009
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Calif Mom needs some ideas for upgrading her communication system with her au pair. My AP joined us last summer and is going to extend (yay!). I have been wanting to fine tune some expectations ahead of signing those papers, and have been taking notes on specific things I would like her to start doing […]

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