Scheduling

Do You Have Regular Weekly Meetings With Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 5, 2014
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Some Host Parents swear by the Weekly Meeting as The. One. Thing. (along with the Handbook, of course) that keeps the relationship running smoothly. Weekly meetings have a lot to recommend them. Meetings that are: Regular Planned in advance Agenda driven Happen outside of the day to day rush or parent/au pair transition time — […]

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Personal Time: Do Host Parents take it personally when Au Pairs retreat to their rooms?

by cv harquail September 16, 2013
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It can be so easy to misinterpret behaviors — and to take offense where none is intended. Tone of voice, awkward choice of words, different cultural norms, and even the specifics of the ‘moment’ influence the meaning we extract from someone’s behavior. Wait, make that “the meaning we think we extract from someone’s behavior”. Even […]

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Au Pair Scheduling: How to count time around Drop-Offs and Pick-ups

by cv harquail June 10, 2013
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When does an au pair actually ‘stop’ being on the clock?   Is it when the kids are off with someone else, or when the au pair is back at ‘home base’? Before we even address this substance of the question, I need to point out  => If you have to count minutes down to […]

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Overnight hours: Should we be able to schedule Au Pairs to work overnight?

by cv harquail May 25, 2013
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StudentHostMom writes with a question about overnight childcare. Our contract strictly forbids leaving the kids alone with the au pair overnight. Our main reason for getting an au pair was to support me as I returned to classes, part time, to finish my college degree. Since my husband travels all week, every week, our Au Pair […]

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Should Au Pairs be expected to do chores on their Day Off?

by cv harquail March 12, 2013
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In our earlier conversation about what chores are appropriate to ask an au pair to do, AussieAuPair raised an interesting question– When an au pair is officially having a day off, should s/he still be expected to do household chores? We need to make two sets of distinctions first, between — family member household chores […]

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Can an Au Pair be On-Duty to House Sit or Pet Sit?

by cv harquail January 9, 2013

Is it okay to ask your Au Pair to live at your house while you are away on vacation, and to take care of your family pet? Dear AuPairMom– My husband and I are hosting an Au Pair for the first time. We have three kids, ages 13, 10 and 5 and I am a […]

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On Duty or Off Duty: There is no third choice. Or is there?

by cv harquail December 29, 2012
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ON Duty or OFF Duty. There are only two choices for the hours on your au pair’s schedule. Host parents that try to establish a third choice, where an au pair is neither on duty nor off duty, are starting down the slippery slope of “taking advantage” of an au pair. ON Duty = Paid […]

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Start By Following the Rules: Au Pair Asks About Hours, Holidays and Discipline

by cv harquail December 29, 2012
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97% of the time that something goes wrong between an au pair and a host family, it’s because one or both parties is not following the rules. Okay, maybe it’s not 97%. Maybe it’s just 95%. But in the vast majority of the problems we talk about here, someone isn’t following the rules. We got […]

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All Unhappy Au Pair Situations Are Unhappy in Complicated Ways

by cv harquail November 25, 2012
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In the nearly 6 years we’ve been talking together on this blog, we’ve never once had a concern with an au pair that was simple. Never. Not once. The situation is never just “She won’t follow directions”, or “He can’t pass the state driver’s license test”. There’s always some complicated mix of themes, usually involving […]

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Is it the au pair’s schedule or is it her attitude?

by cv harquail August 25, 2012

(Sorry All-  I know the formatting is messed up. So much for trying to post from the Garden State Parkway.  Here it is, in odd form, until I can fix it tomorrow. ;-)  ) Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s driving the behavior of an au pair ( or anyone else for that matter, but […]

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