Foundations & Basics

What can an Au Pair expect from a Host Family?

by cv harquail May 3, 2010
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In the mirror post to this one, we’re generating a list of ways that families interpret and execute the rules, but with the effect of having the au pair feel mistreated. Here on this page is our chance to list what an au pair can expect from a family when both the family and the […]

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Locking the Refrigerator, and other ways to mistreat an Au Pair

by cv harquail May 3, 2010
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Riffing on the post Do Au Pairs need a bill of rights? about Au Pairs and a domestic workers bill of rights, Dawn mentioned that A clear listing as to what kind of treatment is reasonable to expect would be very helpful in such circumstances. As one example, in a program where the AP expects […]

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Do Au Pairs need a ‘bill of rights’?

by cv harquail April 30, 2010
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A reader sent me a link to an article in Slate, about a proposed ‘Bill of Rights” for domestic workers in New York State. (You can read the article in detail, here.) The proposed legislation would guarantee New York’s 200,000 domestic workers sick days, overtime, a day of rest, protection under discrimination laws, and notice […]

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When Your Au Pair Breaks Your Psychological Contract

by cv harquail April 24, 2010
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[ Note: I think this might be the longest AuPairMom post I’ve ever written. It was a long train ride and I think I got carried away.] Host families and au pairs call it mutual expectations, and management scholars call it the “psychological contract”. The idea behind a psychological contract is that we agree to […]

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Au Pair Advice: New App to Manage Texting While Driving

by cv harquail April 14, 2010

Local mom and blogger Kristen Kemp wrote a post so important that I’m borrowing heavily from it to share with you all. It’s all about: Parental Control Feature to Stop Texting While Driving If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that most host parents are preeetttyyy concerned about safe driving. Talking […]

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Help Your Au Pair Evaluate Potential Playdates

by cv harquail April 8, 2010
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I firmly believe that working on your au pair relationship makes you a better parent, directly and indirectly. Any time you have to stop and reflect on your parenting principles and your priorities for your kid(s), you have the opportunity to become more mindful about what you’re up to with your family. Here’s one of […]

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Au Pair Management Tip: Schedule Transition Time

by cv harquail March 29, 2010
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Here is a tip for both host parent and au pairs alike: Schedule transition time, with explicit overlap between when the au pair and the parent (or other caregiver) switch who’s ‘on duty’. Back when I worked as a manufacturing manager I always had to be there for “shift overlap”, when the outgoing shift would […]

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How to Assess an Au Pair Candidate’s Driving Experience

by cv harquail March 23, 2010
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Our second au pair had a lot of driving experience back in her Eastern European country. She’d been driving for 3 years, almost every day. Sounded great. This, along with her other great qualities, lead us to match with her. Zoom ahead three months, as we settle her into the Toyota to go out for […]

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Au Pair Advice: Getting enough sleep & being noisy late at night

by cv harquail March 14, 2010
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If there is anything about having an au pair — or anyone, really — in the bedroom on the third floor that bothers my DH, it’s noise after 10:30 pm. He is a fussy sleeper, and it drives him nuts to be able to hear a tv, or a phone conversation, while he’s trying to […]

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Awkward: It’s not a walk of shame if we know you are safe

by cv harquail March 8, 2010
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So let’s jump on in to another awkward topic — If your au pair is having fun, safe overnights, and she just wants to make sure you’re not worried, how should she tell you? Should she even tell you? I don’t actually want to know if my au pair is having fun. I do want […]

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