Foundations & Basics

From “Part Time” to “Full Time”: Can I ramp up my au pair’s hours over time?

by cv harquail July 7, 2010

Dear AuPairMom, I’m a mom, employed part-time, who is thinking about getting an au pair. I’m thinking of having an au pair to (1) care for my kids while I’m working, (2) work with me as a mother’s helper as I care for the children, and (3) make it possible to get other things done […]

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Swimming, Personal Choices and Cultural Norms

by cv harquail July 5, 2010

A request for advice from “Everybody In The Pool” — Dear Au Pair Mom readers, An issue has arisen with our new au pair (arrived 2 weeks ago) – and it’s not one I anticipated. I’m hoping AuPairMom readers have some thoughts and insights… It’s a cultural issue and also a personal issue. It is […]

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What’s the most “American” thing you’ve had to explain to your au pair?

by cv harquail July 2, 2010

4th of July is one of my favorite holidays… all about family, community and abstract patriotic notions. 4th of July is also the holiday when I am most likely to embarrass my children– apparently, as they get older, it is no longer cool to dress up in red, white & blue and cheer wildly at […]

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Orienting an Au Pair when Host Mom can’t be there

by cv harquail June 26, 2010

Dear AuPairMom, I have organized an au pair to come and help us for a month at the end of June. (This came through a work contact and I have spoken on the phone with the au pair and her mom) . My problem now is that I need to travel to the UK for […]

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Is Your Host Family Handbook Too Long?

by cv harquail June 21, 2010

Eleven Au Pairs and 12 revisions after first being written, our Host Family Handbook is now, officially, “long”. Excluding examples of kids’ and au pairs’ schedules, and excluding the basic information about emergency phone numbers and the like, our rules/guidelines section runs 16 pages, with almost 4500 words. Is that too long? Host Family Handbook: […]

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What exactly is a Host Family Handbook?

by cv harquail June 21, 2010

We’ve got a lit of different terms floating around to describe the written information that we give our au pairs. We call them handbooks, manuals, guidelines, and rules. (And who knows what our au pairs call them!) For the purposes of our conversations here on AuPairMom, let’s try to lock down the terminology. A Host […]

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When Au Pairs Get Tattoos…

by cv harquail June 18, 2010

Do their moms cry, or only their host moms? Less than half of our au pairs have gotten tattoos, but each time, I’ve worried that I’ve let their moms (and dads) down. Most host parents are of my generation (more or less) so I use my own feelings about permanent body decor as a proxy […]

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Your Au Pair is not a Maid

by cv harquail June 17, 2010

What’s the difference between an au pair and a maid? In some host families, not very much. Some host families expect their au pairs to do basic housework in addition to caring for children. In the US, “housekeeping”is limited to cleaning up the kids rooms (but in my mind, not vacuuming them), keeping the play […]

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Tip: Insist on the Second-To-Last bus

by cv harquail June 16, 2010

One of our guidelines is: “Take the second to last bus or train home. Never count on being able to get the very last bus. Always make sure you have a backup.” You might look at that and think we are controlling– but underneath that guideline (like so many others) is a real story of […]

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Are “crazy” Au Pair guidelines really all that crazy?

by cv harquail June 9, 2010

I laughed at the comment by Taking a Computer Lunch, on rules in her family handbook: My least favorite rule that I had to add – don’t burn candles and leave your room. Duh! As I look through our family handbook, there are some real doozies. My personal favorite is “In the evening, please do […]

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