Guidelines & rules

How to Sabotage the Au Pair’s Authority By Refusing To Discipline Your Kids

by cv harquail February 25, 2014

When I look around troubling dynamics in the au pair — host child– host parent relationship triangle, I see three Host Parent behaviors that seem to set everyone up to fail: 1. Parents undercutting the au pairs authority, especially by reversing decisions. 2. Parents skimming all the good chores, events and behaviors, leaving the au […]

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Overnight hours: Should we be able to schedule Au Pairs to work overnight?

by cv harquail May 25, 2013

StudentHostMom writes with a question about overnight childcare. Our contract strictly forbids leaving the kids alone with the au pair overnight. Our main reason for getting an au pair was to support me as I returned to classes, part time, to finish my college degree. Since my husband travels all week, every week, our Au Pair […]

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Sample Family Handbook, with sections on Food from HM P

by cv harquail March 22, 2013

Family Handbooks should all cover a core set of topics including schedule, safety, child care rules, car rules, and family rules. Beyond these topics, we each need to add specifically what’s important to OUR family. At my house, this means a section on “How to Adore Coco (our dog)” and another on “Traveling Safely in NYC”. In […]

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Child Care Chores Quiz: Are any chores on this list off limits?

by cv harquail January 16, 2013

What actually counts as a legitimate Child Care Chore? Do we routinely ask our Au Pairs to do chores that are not really legitimate Child Care Chores? HostMcMom sent me a list of things on her au pair’s ChildCare Chores list. As I looked over her list, I wondered about an item or two that […]

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When Your Au Pair Won’t Do More Than Mind Your Child: Child Care Chores

by cv harquail January 12, 2013

How do you teach an au pair that ‘childcare’ includes more than just caring directly for your child/ren, in real time? We all know that childcare means not only one-to-one interacting with the child and the child’s needs, but also doing child-related work ‘offline’. But many au pairs (especially new ones) struggle with this, because […]

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What is the right way to discipline your Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 4, 2013

“Go sit in the corner.” Over the holidays, someone told me that they’d heard about an au pair who was told by her host mom to “go sit in the corner” as punishment for doing something wrong with the kids. I was appalled. What did that host mom think she was doing, disciplining an au […]

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Texting: Taming the Au Pair Distraction

by cv harquail February 10, 2012

Who’s got an au pair who texts a lot? Sometimes at inappropriate times, and often without any understanding of how this behavior distracts them? Raise your hands. Okay, you can all put down your hands. It annoys me hugely that people have bad manners when it comes to texting. In our family, we have rules […]

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Can Au Pairs shorten their Extension, once begun?

by cv harquail February 5, 2012

Do you know the official answer to this au pair’s query? And, if you were her LCC, what would you advise? Dear Au Pair Mom, I’m an extension Au Pair, living here in the USA since January of 2011 (13 months now). I wanted to know if there is a possibility to change the length […]

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When an ‘Au Pair’ should really be a Nanny

by cv harquail January 19, 2012

Sometimes you just don’t want to read the subject lines of the emails that show up in our AuPairMom emailbox. The email posted below came with the subject line, “Am I being taken advantage of?”. But, by the time the au pair finished telling her story, it was clear it the subjuct should have been […]

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F.A.Q.: Must we use an Au Pair Agency to engage an Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 14, 2012

Must we use an Au Pair Agency to engage an Au Pair? Yes. Sure, you can go it alone, but then you would not be operating within US Law. We emphatically recommend that you use an approved agency to find and retain your au pair. Following the laws and regulations protects both your family and […]

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