Guidelines & rules

The 3rd Car: Avoiding a sense of entitlement

by cv harquail March 31, 2009

We all want to be generous, and we all want to be appreciated. There’s nothing like having a third car for your au pair to use to make you aware of the tension that can exist when you want to be generous and want to be appreciated. When we bought our first Volvo wagon to […]

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Advice Wanted: How to manage too much “personal” use of family car

by cv harquail March 25, 2009

I need advice about car usage for our au pair. Our au pair has been with us for a little over 7 weeks now. She is doing a great job and has really blended well with our family. Part of her duties (driving) are to drop-off/pick-up our children from school 3 days a week & […]

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Using Your Car is a Privilege, not an Entitlement: Best practices

by cv harquail March 24, 2009

Second only to food as a ‘terrain of struggle’ is the shared family car. While the luckiest of us host families has an extra clunker or not-so-clunker available for the au pair to use as her own, many more host families have their au pair share the family car. And, some host families do not […]

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Poll: How long, exactly, is “two weeks vacation”?

by cv harquail March 11, 2009

The question has been posed: How do you count "two weeks vacation"? I’m not sure of the "official" rule, so I hope a Local Community Counselor can chime in, but in the meantime, let’s see how we host moms interpret that guideline. And, when you and your Au Pair arrange her vacation, how do you […]

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Sample Handbook from a Reader

by cv harquail March 3, 2009

Hi Moms- Recall that last month I invited you all to share pages from your Family Handbook … I’ve just posted the first of those sample handbooks as a page: Sample Handbook 2, from CC Family. The Sample Handbook is based on the format provided by the Cultural Care Agency, so you may have seen […]

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Share a page from your handbook …

by cv harquail February 10, 2009

When I started au pair momming 11 years ago, there was no such thing as an Au Pair Handbook. My au pair agency never recommended that I create a family manual, and my LCC actually laughed when I told her that I’d put together a printed list of guidelines for our incoming au pair. My, […]

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Help: My Au Pair is Blogging about My Family!

by cv harquail January 11, 2009

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It’s s Web 2.0 nightmare no Au Pair Host Parent is ready for — your au pair is blogging about your kids, your family, your discipline strategies, and who knows what all else. And the picture is not altogether flattering. What do you do? Here’s how md describes her challenge and her request for advice: […]

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Poll: Do you ask your Au Pair to walk your dog?

by cv harquail January 8, 2009

Let’s take a walk into another grey area of potential au pair responsibilities- your family dog. “Officially”, here in the USofA, your (See Dawn’s comment, below) with my agency, APIA, the Au Pair is not supposed to do any dog (or pet) care at all. Still, since the dog is part of the family, and […]

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How much cleaning do you ask your Au Pair to do?

by cv harquail January 6, 2009

Housework. The contested terrain. Just what housework tasks are appropriate to ask your au pair to do? "The rules" say that your au pair is in charge of things related to the kids. BUT since the kids shared the house with at least one adult, there is always some overlap as well as jointly-created mess. […]

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15 Tips from 15 Host Moms

by cv harquail January 5, 2009

Cruising through the comments and wincing at the many that I haven’t answered adequately, I was reminded how many little tidbits you all have been sharing on the blog. It can be overwhelming to provide advice for a knotty problem, or for a first timer, because there really is so much to share. Funny thing […]

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