Cultural Exchange Challenges

Is it demeaning to ask your au pair to iron kids’ clothes?

by cv harquail August 8, 2010

When my girls were littler, they had lots of adorable cotton dresses. All of these dresses were wash’n wear, which meant that they were okay to wear if clean but wrinkly. To look fabulous, these dresses didn’t need lots of ironing– just 2 minutes with an iron on the collars, hems, and sashes turned them […]

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A Different Perspective on Cultural Exchange

by cv harquail August 4, 2010

For each of us the ‘cultural exchange’ part of the au pair program has a different meaning and importance. Are there many cases where the cultural exchange part feels irrelevant? Or, to put it bluntly, If the same sort of service existed to match American au pairs with other American families for the same overall […]

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What counts as “cultural exchange”?

by cv harquail August 3, 2010

Host Mom KMW writes with this thoughtful question: Most families seem to include the cultural aspect of having an au pair as an important reason for going the au pair route. I have been thinking a lot about the pluses and minuses of Au Pairs vs. a US based nanny… and I’m wondering how much […]

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What’s the most “American” thing you’ve had to explain to your au pair?

by cv harquail July 2, 2010

4th of July is one of my favorite holidays… all about family, community and abstract patriotic notions. 4th of July is also the holiday when I am most likely to embarrass my children– apparently, as they get older, it is no longer cool to dress up in red, white & blue and cheer wildly at […]

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10 Days of Work that Might Surprise Your Au Pair

by cv harquail June 7, 2010

What’s most surprising thing for Au Pairs to learn about Memorial Day, July 4th and Labor Day? A. They mark the beginning, middle and end of “summer”. B. They are celebrated with barbecues and maybe some nice cold beer. C. They are days when most Americans have “off” but most Au Pairs do not. Answer? […]

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The Best $98 You Can Spend on Your New Au Pair

by cv harquail May 20, 2010

One of the best things a host parent can do with a new au pair is to pay some professional driving lessons. Driving lessons are something that you should consider in addition to having the au pair go out driving with one or more host parents, and in addition to having the au pair study […]

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What really motivates them to become Au Pairs?

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

Very few au pairs come to the US because they want to take care of kids. They can do this in their home countries, with a lot less drama and zero homesickness. While many (let’s hope, most) au pairs like kids, and think they will enjoy caring for kids for a year, this is usually […]

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Do Au Pairs need a ‘bill of rights’?

by cv harquail April 30, 2010

A reader sent me a link to an article in Slate, about a proposed ‘Bill of Rights” for domestic workers in New York State. (You can read the article in detail, here.) The proposed legislation would guarantee New York’s 200,000 domestic workers sick days, overtime, a day of rest, protection under discrimination laws, and notice […]

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Choosing an Au Pair: How much does the home country matter?

by cv harquail April 29, 2010

choosing an au pair, au pair selection advice, how to choose an au pair

Host parents are often asked why they’ve chosen an au pair from a particular country, and whether an au pair’s home country matters. How do you answer that question, without sounding like you’re stereotyping too much? When it comes to having preferences for countries, we feel very comfortable prioritizing home countries based on language— if […]

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My Au Pair Dresses Like a Tramp. Help!

by cv harquail April 27, 2010

Au Pairs and their appearance– another dicey topic. We don’t like to think that an au pair’s physical appearance affects how we (or others) respond to her, but the ugly truth is– appearances are influential. When we (American) host parents react to an au pair’s appearance, we’re invoking preferences, expectations and interpretations based partly in […]

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