Truths & Lies

Good Bye, Good Luck from exAuPairMom

by cv harquail October 13, 2009
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I always wonder about “the rest of the story” when I get a notice that someone has unsubscribed from the email newsletter .. for the reason that “the content is no longer valid”. I usually take that to mean “we don’t have an au pair anymore”. Over the weekend we got this letter from a […]

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Matching with an Au Pair: When Racism interferes

by cv harquail October 2, 2009
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Take a deep breath everyone– time to talk about something many people find uncomfortable: Racism.  But talk about it we must, because racism gets in the way of our relationships with each other. 3 Sources of “Racism Interference” Racism interference can come from three directions, any of which can influence your match with an Au […]

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Gossip Girls: When your AP tells stories, what can you do?

by cv harquail August 18, 2009
Thumbnail image for Gossip Girls: When your AP tells stories, what can you do? u said what about me cartoon.png

Researchers in my field of organizational behavior&theory have found that gossip in organizations provides some useful functions, like lubricating relationships, creating interpersonal bonds, allowing people to express their fears, and perhaps most important, offering people an informal way to make sense of what’s going on around them. While it may be that gossip at work […]

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All real, all the time

by cv harquail May 26, 2009
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A regular reader and commenter sent me an email this morning asking whether the story posted with the poll is real, or whether I made it up. Dear readers, may I just say, you can’t make this s%*# up. I am as surprised as you are at what people are willing to put up with, […]

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11 Tips for Considering an Au Pair in Rematch

by cv harquail May 4, 2009
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Oh dear. You’re in rematch. Maybe you were horrible. Maybe your au pair was horrible. Maybe you should have decided sooner, then again maybe you both could have tried harder. Whatever, it’s been a bad experience. The decision to rematch has been made, and now… you need childcare, and you don’t have much time to […]

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Would you ever use a “nanny cam”?

by cv harquail April 26, 2009
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A reader suggested that we talk about nanny cams. (She suggested the topic using the Skribit widget on the sidebar… hint hint). Personally, I think nanny cams are kindof creepy, in general. And, if I were ever tempted to use one myself, it would be a sign to me that my relationship with my au […]

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Announcing…. International Au Pair Appreciation Week!

by cv harquail April 18, 2009
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International Au Pair Appreciation Week May 1 – 9, 2009! Au Pair Appreciation Week is our chance as host moms and dads to celebrate what we enjoy the most about having au pairs in our family lives. Although moms and dads who ask for advice here on AuPairMom are occasionally accused of being grumpy, demanding, […]

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Myths about Au Pairs: The Fox in Your Henhouse

by cv harquail April 7, 2009
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Close behind the myth that every Au Pair is a "Hottie" is the myth that au pairs are out to steal your Host Dad. I guess this is one of those where the exceptions are so salient that you end up believing that it happens a lot. I haven’t ever met a host mom or […]

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Host Family Advice: Resist the Amenities Arms Race

by cv harquail June 17, 2008

Truth: Every good host mom wants her Au Pair to be reasonably happy. Truth: You can’t make her more happy by giving her more stuff. One important way to help your Au Pair feel happy with her situation is to provide her with various “creature comforts”, including a nice bedroom, entertainment equipment, access to family […]

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