Truths & Lies

Something’s Missing: Not the GPS, but her sense of Responsibility

by cv harquail January 20, 2011

From HostMom Needing Guidance: Dear Au Pair Mom readers — We’re 7 months into our year with our current AP. It’s been a good year so far and she is a great AP. She’s good with the kids and fairly easy to live with, and we’re starting to think about whether to extend. However, I […]

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Au Pair Asks: My Host Mom wants to get rid of me. … Am I alone in this feeling?

by cv harquail January 16, 2011

Readers, here’s another one of those emails that I just don’t have a good answer for… Can any of you au pairs or host parents offer her some comfort? Hi Au Pair Mom, I am an au pair and always read this blog, to know if I am doing right, to have kind of a […]

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My Au Pair is Stealing Little Items: Should I rematch?

by cv harquail December 16, 2010

This query was tucked away in a previous post: Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you. I thought it deserved its own, up-to-the-minute conversation. From Host Mom Pippa: I just last week caught our au pair stealing little items from us, confronted her, and then caught her the next day stealing more. AP […]

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Is it reasonable to stop trusting my Au Pair after this?

by cv harquail December 5, 2010

When we share a bond of trust with another person, we can can handle almost any kind of conflict or difference of opinion. For most of us, we begin our relationships with our au pairs with a foundation of ‘swift trust’, and then build on this foundation as each party meets their obligations, treats the […]

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Au Pair Asks: What happens when you discover that you can’t provide what your Host Kid with Special Needs needs?

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

Dear AuPairMoms- What happens when the au pair is placed with a host family that has a special needs child, and it isn’t working out? Both the agency and the host family knew beforehand that the au pair did not have any previous experience with special needs, but the Au Pair chose to take the […]

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An Open Letter to Au Pairs without an Agency, Outside the USA

by cv harquail October 5, 2010

Be sure to read the comments! There is some terrific information about how agencies work (or don’t work) in specific countries! Dear Au Pairs- I’m writing this letter to you to tell you a cold, difficult truth: As much as you hope that you did some careful screening of possible host families, and as much […]

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Exploited in Italy: What’s the best way to leave my host family?

by cv harquail October 5, 2010

Dear Moms, I’ve found your website infinitely helpful to get a look at “the other side” of the au pair experience, and now I’m hoping that you can help me. The Situation I am an American girl who moved to Europe to be an au pair last month. My host family consists of a single […]

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Is our Au Pair committed?: Verify, but trust.

by cv harquail September 17, 2010

Dear AuPairMom, I’m hoping to get some input from your readers on a problem I have about trust and commitment to our family: Our AP (our second) has been with us for a few weeks. Last weekend, she traveled outside the country to see a male friend. (He’s in a country nearer to the US […]

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When you initiate rematch, can you ask your Au Pair to leave immediately?

by cv harquail July 22, 2010

When you initiate rematch, can you ask your Au Pair to leave immediately? When this question popped up over the weekend, I shuddered. It brought me back instantly to our flame-out au pair, the one who announced on the last day of school that she wanted a rematch because she didn’t want to work weekends […]

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What if there were Nanny Cams for Host Parents?

by cv harquail July 15, 2010

I’m not thinking about Nanny Cams that host parents can use to watch their au pairs during the day, but hidden cameras that watched us host parents when our au pairs weren’t around. What behavior of yours would a nanny cam catch? What things would you be proud of, and what things might embarrass you? […]

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