Privileges vs. entitlements

Should you share your au pair?

by cv harquail May 14, 2009
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Good friends share with each other… tips about shoe sales, complaints about PTA events, and the whipped cream on their Frappucinos (yes, really. Ask Jenny.) But, as a good friend, should you share your au pair? (Note that it’s against the guidelines of most agencies for your au pair to work for anyone but you. […]

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Advice Wanted: How to set the right tone from Week 1

by cv harquail May 13, 2009
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OK experienced host moms (and dads), I need some of your advice. Although I have had three Au Pairs, they have all ended in transition so I feel like a new host mother. Since this is the first time I am going into the AP relationship with the aid of other mothers as mentors, I […]

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5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Considering Rematch

by cv harquail May 5, 2009
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How soon can you know that it just won’t work? Dory asked a question (which I post below) about whether she’s reasonable to think that she should rematch with another au pair. She’s only had this one for 3 months, but it isn’t promising. My quick response to her prompted this advice … 5 Questions […]

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Scheduling your Au Pair to be on duty when you are at home…

by cv harquail April 16, 2009
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I got a bit of a chuckle when I saw this topic suggestion on the Skribit form: “Should you make your au pair work on weekends if both parents are at home doing nothing?” The topic suggestion was anonymous, but if I had to guess I’d say it was from an au pair. Why? Because […]

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Your House is Not a Youth Hostel

by cv harquail April 3, 2009
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Let me repeat that: Your house is not a youth hostel. It’s not a hotel. It’s not a pied a terre. Your house is your home, and if you choose to have friends of your au pair as overnight guests, there is a lot to think about. One blatant sign that a host mom and […]

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The 3rd Car: Avoiding a sense of entitlement

by cv harquail March 31, 2009
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We all want to be generous, and we all want to be appreciated. There’s nothing like having a third car for your au pair to use to make you aware of the tension that can exist when you want to be generous and want to be appreciated. When we bought our first Volvo wagon to […]

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Host Family Advice: Resist the Amenities Arms Race

by cv harquail June 17, 2008

Truth: Every good host mom wants her Au Pair to be reasonably happy. Truth: You can’t make her more happy by giving her more stuff. One important way to help your Au Pair feel happy with her situation is to provide her with various “creature comforts”, including a nice bedroom, entertainment equipment, access to family […]

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