Part of the Family

When Grandma Interferes in the Au Pair-Host Parent Relationship

by cv harquail October 25, 2010

The only people who should be involved in the relationship between the Au Pair and his or her Host Parents are the au pair and the host parents. The au pair should get instruction and feedback directly from the parents, and the parents should focus on the au pair’s experiences with the family and the […]

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Is our Au Pair committed?: Verify, but trust.

by cv harquail September 17, 2010

Dear AuPairMom, I’m hoping to get some input from your readers on a problem I have about trust and commitment to our family: Our AP (our second) has been with us for a few weeks. Last weekend, she traveled outside the country to see a male friend. (He’s in a country nearer to the US […]

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Au Pairs and Dinnertime: Preparing in advance for a smooth routine

by cv harquail August 18, 2010

Mealtimes are important family times. Most of us hope that our Au Pairs will join us for dinner so that s/he can be part of this family time. But as we know, food and mealtimes can easily become places where individual differences, cultural differences, and just plain organization can get in the way of a […]

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Birthday Parties for Host Kids: Should Au Pairs Be Expected to Attend?

by cv harquail July 26, 2010

It took me several years to figure out the whole birthday party thing. By the time I realized that most parents expected to stay for the party– and that I had to feed them — the kids were old enough to be dropped off. That was when I learned that you have to have room […]

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When your Au Pair confides in you … about something awful

by cv harquail June 11, 2010

This is a heavy topic for a Friday. Apologies in advance. I’ve mentioned before that I believe that there are just as many young people who become au pairs to escape something as there are those who become au pairs to find something. Au Pairs who are escaping are fleeing from acute personal disappointments, painful […]

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In Loco Parentis? Your Parental Responsibilities when your AP’s behavior challenges your values

by cv harquail June 1, 2010

As Host Parents, we have an odd role in our Au Pair’s lives. We are responsible for keeping them safe, housed, fed, and supported in their work with our children. And we also often play a role that I call Pseudo In Loco Parentis. Pseudo In Loco Parentis Like the fancy Latin? Years ago, women’s […]

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When you need some time alone … with your kids, without the Au Pair

by cv harquail May 17, 2010

‘SotaGal commented last week about, sometimes, she just wants to be with her kids, alone. “Mommy-a-mano”, no DH, no DP, no AP. Just Mom & the kids. There is nothing wrong with that. We all want 1 on 1/2/3 time, time when we are the only adult in the room, the only adult in the […]

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Realizing you aren’t ready to be Au Pair host parents? And you have an Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 12, 2010

If we only knew then what we know now… being an Au Pair Host Parent would be really easy. Okay, easier. As our au pair parenting experiences unfold, we learn a lot about what works and what doesn’t, what we can change and what we can’t, how we can accommodate to an au pair and […]

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Since she’s temporarily returned to the nest– can I still give my (former) Au Pair advice?

by cv harquail May 10, 2010

Funny how, once an au pair has become part of your life, he or she stays part of your life. Many au pairs go home or on to their next adventure, and we don’t really hear from them again. Others keep in touch with birthday cards and Facebook, and with some we are lucky to […]

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Au Pair Mom’s Mothers’ Day Challenge

by cv harquail May 8, 2010

The annual celebration of Mothers’ Day offers us moms a chance to have breakfast in bed, or experience some other kind of treat from our family. It’s one particular day that we get a bit of positive feedback for the work that we do as moms, and it’s one day that we get to be […]

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