Part of the Family

“Pitching In”: What does that mean in your host family?

by cv harquail July 15, 2014
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What does it mean to “pitch in” with host family chores? Pitching In (defn): To join the family in doing some everyday household upkeep, to help keep the household running smoothly In anticipation of an au pair question that will get posted later this week, I wanted to sketch out the basic advice (okay, my aupairmom […]

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Your Summer Re-Set Conversation: What should you cover?

by cv harquail June 2, 2014
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Summertime, and the living is… different.  Whether it’s our kids’ schedule, our own work schedule, or even just the return of the Good Humor Man, the start of summer opens up a chance to adjust how things are going with our Au Pairs. As our family’s patterns change, we need to bring our au pairs along with […]

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When Host Parents Reserve Treats For Themselves

by cv harquail May 19, 2014
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How do you communicate to your au pair that something in your home is ‘off limits’ to them, even though you host parents enjoy it liberally? Things like hot tubs, wine, the ‘nice’ car, the expensive balsamic vinegar, or a favorite coffee mug can become a source of tension, when these things are purchased or […]

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Explaining To Family and Friends Why You’re Getting An Au Pair

by cv harquail April 18, 2014
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Can you remember back to the first time you ever heard about the Au Pair program? I can’t remember how I first heard about it (and I think I assumed I knew what an au pair was). But I *do* remember trying to explain the whole concept to my dad. And then to my coworkers, […]

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Photographing Host Children: What’s appropriate to shoot, and what’s appropriate to share?

by cv harquail April 7, 2014
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All children are beautiful. When we, our au pairs, our families, and our friends see our beautiful child, it’s oh-so-tempting to try to hold that image of beauty still, to want to preserve it as a memory forever. When we adore these children, when we are proud of them, when we love them, we want […]

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When Your Au Pair Wants To Bring Home A New Romance

by cv harquail February 22, 2014
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Oh, the au pair adventure! A new country, a new family, and sometimes even a new romance. When our au pairs fall in love — or heck, if they find somebody really hot that they want to date — they often want to bring this person home with them. When that home is also your […]

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When Your Au Pair’s Parents Come to Visit

by cv harquail January 23, 2014
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Dear AuPair Mom–  We have a lovely, responsible Au Pair whose parents miss her dearly. They have decided to visit twice (twice!) during the year and want to stay with us in order to maximize their time with their daughter.  I’m apprehensive about the whole thing, because hosting parents is not the same as hosting […]

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What Kind of Parent Are You — To Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 8, 2014
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No Host Parent wants to feel responsible for an au pair who’s unable to take care of him/herself. We complain to each other bitterly “If I’d wanted another ‘dependent’, I’d have had another kid!” And, we resent the idea that there is another anything (much less an actual person whom we care about) that we […]

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Thanksgiving Is Not A Spectator Sport: How Will You Involve Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail November 23, 2013
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Thanksgiving is a time when all Host Parents find that they need to get into the ‘Cultural Exchange’ mode.  You can’t just plant yourself on Grandad’s Barcolounger hogging the remote, expect everything to unfold the usual way.  And, you can’t expect that your au pair will feel as comfortable as this kitty (left) if her/his […]

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The Two Biggest Reasons Host Parents Push the Limits of the Au Pair Program

by cv harquail July 18, 2013
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Host Parents in the AuPairMom community do their very best to follow the spirit and the letter of the Au Pair Program. Yet even the most honorable, rule-abiding host parents can feel pressure to push the limits of the Au Pair program. Why? Because — as designed– an Au Pair working according to the rules […]

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