Part of the Family

The Worst Thing an Au Pair Can Overhear

by cv harquail March 17, 2017
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Quick — what’s the worst thing your au pair could ever overhear? You telling your Host Parent partner how much the Au Pair bothers you? Some kind of grumpy food-related complaint you should be too adult to even have? You announcing that  you’ve tucked a speed tracker into the Au Pair car, so now you’ll […]

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Counting On-Duty Au Pair Hours When You’re In A Car or Plane

by cv harquail March 15, 2017
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How does your family handle the Au Pair’s time spent with the family over a long car or plane trip? Formally and officially, we are supposed to count all of this time as “on duty” hours.   But, if you have a long haul to get to your vacation destination, you can use up a […]

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I Want To Marry Your Au Pair. Do You Mind?

by cv harquail November 29, 2016
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I love, love, love romantic stories. Especially when I have some inside scoop. Though I have no idea who the fellow is who emailed with this question, I’m only posting it on the condition that we get THE REST OF THE STORY and at least a photo of the happy couple. But first, Romeo needs […]

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Our New Au Pair is Too Quiet: She Hardly Says A Word

by cv harquail November 28, 2016
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We’re enjoying a visit from one of our former Au Pairs, and a friend of hers.  Although both of them speak English well, I’m aware once again of how challenging it can be to interact across language differences, as well as cultural differences, and even family norms. With communication challenges, I always prefer it when […]

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Your Home is Not an Airbnb – Say no to too many Au Pair guests

by cv harquail September 14, 2016
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Oh good lord, this Host Mom’s got a problem — Her au pair wants to have six people — Six people — SIX PEOPLE — come to visit and stay in the Host Family’s home.  For TWO WEEKS. The answer is obviously, “No, that’s simply not possible”. The Host Mom doesn’t even have to go […]

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Au Pair Drinking Wine While On Duty: Okay or Ixnay? (Poll)

by cv harquail August 9, 2016
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Dear Au Pair Mom — I have been an avid reader of your blog for awhile now and absolutely love the invaluable information and tips I have learned from it. I’m not entirely sure this is an issue but I think it has the potential to become one so I guess I’m just putting some […]

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How Can We Develop a Connection with our Socially Detached Au Pair?

by cv harquail June 4, 2016
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The Goldilocks Conundrum Your connection with your Au Pair is too heavy, or it’s non-existant. Your Au Pair is either a homebody, sticking close to the house demonstrating little interest in the world around her/him. Or, your Au Pair is always gone — whether physically or socially. S/he  does the job, and then disappears. We […]

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What Kinds of Relationships Do Au Pairs Want With Host Parents?

by cv harquail May 1, 2016
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There are many different types of equally good relationships that we host parents can have with our au pairs. Good host parent- au pair relationships can vary by — their level of intimacy (e.g., seriously close or pleasantly distant), — the amount of time we spend together (e.g., every waking moment or “I’m off duty, see you tomorrow, […]

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Creating an Au Pair – Host Parent Partnership that Doesn’t Exclude the Other Host Parent

by cv harquail February 12, 2016
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In some families, parents aim to share childcare and home management equally.  In other families, there is one parent (of the two, three or four) who serves as the “lead parent”.  The Lead Parent is the one who runs the forgotten lunch over to school, stays home when a kid is sick, and manages the family’s childcare. […]

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Thanksgiving Thoughts about Gratitude

by cv harquail November 24, 2015
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[Two years ago we enjoyed this post on gratitude, and au pairs. Since there are so many new and different readers of the blog now, that I thought I’d post it again.  Following up this post is a chance to reflect what you’re thankful and grateful for in your host family- au pair relationship.  cv] […]

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