Part of the Family

Choosing an Au Pair: Sexual Orientation as a consideration

by cv harquail May 5, 2010
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When we are looking for au pair candidates who might be a good fit with our family, we have criteria (e.g., must drive, can’t smoke, likes dogs) that are non-negotiable. We have preferences that direct us to candidates with characteristics we think we’d like in an au pair (e.g., is musically talented, family-oriented, German). And […]

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Locking the Refrigerator, and other ways to mistreat an Au Pair

by cv harquail May 3, 2010
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Riffing on the post Do Au Pairs need a bill of rights? about Au Pairs and a domestic workers bill of rights, Dawn mentioned that A clear listing as to what kind of treatment is reasonable to expect would be very helpful in such circumstances. As one example, in a program where the AP expects […]

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Au Pair Asks: How can I gently decline my Host Mom’s advice?

by cv harquail April 26, 2010
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One of my guilty pleasures as a host mom has been to think that I’ve been able to give my au pairs some good advice. After all, I’ve had a lot of life experience, I’m opening-minded, I have relevant professional experience, and — let’s face it– I usually know what I’m talking about (grin). Therefore, […]

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A Good Au Pair Relationship Requires Your Emotional Investment

by cv harquail April 2, 2010
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Regardless of the type of childcare your family chooses for your kid(s), there is always some work involved in maintaining your relationship with the actual caregivers. With a daycare center, you need to communicate with the staff members and with the administrators on things ranging from schedules to toilet-training strategies. With your mother, mother-in-law or […]

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Can this au pair relationship be saved? Laundry list of “no”s

by cv harquail March 22, 2010
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Readers, this situation is a challenge on many fronts… I’ve listed them out in headings to make things a little easier. It looks like a no-win situation to me, so I’d recommend rematch. But I might be missing something… Read on and offer your thoughts. “Where do I begin? My partner and I are two […]

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Au Pairs and Your Privacy: My Au Pair’s kindof nosy!

by cv harquail March 22, 2010
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When invite an au pair to come live in our home and be ‘part of the family’, our lives become an open book. Frustrated with your DS? Your au pair knows. Threw out 6 bags of organic greens that decomposed in the fridge? She saw it. Hoarding Thin Mints in your special cabinet even though […]

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Au Pair Asks: My Host Mom’s Boyfriend is cramping my (caregiving) style. Advice Please!

by cv harquail March 18, 2010
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When it’s the host parent herself or himself who is making the au pair’s job difficult, she knows exactly what to do — bring the issue up with that host parent, and come to a resolution. But what if the person causing the problems isn’t the host parent, but the host parent’s “friend”? The au […]

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What Size Bed for Your Au Pair (Poll)

by cv harquail March 11, 2010
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A host mom writes: Do we need to get a bigger bed for our next au pair? Our current au pair has a queen-size bed in her room, which used to be our guest room. We are moving to a larger home in a few months. The new house will have a guest room, and […]

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Awkward: It’s not a walk of shame if we know you are safe

by cv harquail March 8, 2010
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So let’s jump on in to another awkward topic — If your au pair is having fun, safe overnights, and she just wants to make sure you’re not worried, how should she tell you? Should she even tell you? I don’t actually want to know if my au pair is having fun. I do want […]

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Au Pair Asks: Host Dad is Mean to Child

by cv harquail February 16, 2010
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Although this blog is not really for au pairs, there are times when other host parents are the best folks to offer advice to an au pair. This particular situation is a tough one, since the problem concerns how the Host Dad treats his son, and how (or even whether) the Host Mom and the […]

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