Common Challenges

Sample Handbook from a Reader

by cv harquail March 3, 2009

Hi Moms- Recall that last month I invited you all to share pages from your Family Handbook … I’ve just posted the first of those sample handbooks as a page: Sample Handbook 2, from CC Family. The Sample Handbook is based on the format provided by the Cultural Care Agency, so you may have seen […]

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Don’t take your Au Pair on vacation during her first 3 months!

by cv harquail February 8, 2009

Okay host moms- I’m coming out with a pretty specific "Don’t": Don’t, I say DON’T, take your au pair on a vacation the first 3 months she is with you. Why? Because: 1. It sets up inaccurate expectations about how she will be treated (e.g., as a guest and tourist vs. as a ‘working’ member […]

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Matching: Share one great interview question

by cv harquail February 6, 2009

Okay Moms, I give in. I will take a deep breath, and open the floodgates, because it’s time to address the topic that every host parent cares about: "How can we get the best match possible?" We have to take this one slowly, maybe even over a couple of months. There’s just too much to […]

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It’s YOUR vacation, not hers. Okay?

by cv harquail February 2, 2009

I had a long listen at a neighborhood party last week…one of my host mom friends had just come back from a family vacation to Disneyworld. Three kids, three adults, two bedrooms, 5 days. And for my friend, not a vacation at all. What went wrong? I’ll tell you what went wrong. My friend forgot […]

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Tip: Save those Ice Skates!

by cv harquail January 18, 2009

At the park across the street, the pond has frozen. (This is actually what it looks like!) Every time the pond freezes, I congratulate myself for saving my old ice skates. About five years ago, when my little ones were taking skating lessons , I bought myself skates that actually fit me so that I […]

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Help: My Au Pair is Blogging about My Family!

by cv harquail January 11, 2009

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It’s s Web 2.0 nightmare no Au Pair Host Parent is ready for — your au pair is blogging about your kids, your family, your discipline strategies, and who knows what all else. And the picture is not altogether flattering. What do you do? Here’s how md describes her challenge and her request for advice: […]

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How much cleaning do you ask your Au Pair to do?

by cv harquail January 6, 2009

Housework. The contested terrain. Just what housework tasks are appropriate to ask your au pair to do? "The rules" say that your au pair is in charge of things related to the kids. BUT since the kids shared the house with at least one adult, there is always some overlap as well as jointly-created mess. […]

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Can you guess what prompted this Host Parent tip?

by cv harquail January 5, 2009

My husband laughs at me — in a kind way, he insists — every time he sees me do something like this. I try to explain that there is indeed a method to my madness, and that behind every quirky tactic in our household is an accident that’s now easier to avoid. But he still […]

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9 Host Mom Questions for 2009: Reflect before you resolve

by cv harquail December 31, 2008

How did we get here already? I was just testing the polling feature to see how many au pairs were on duty on Christmas, and — bam– it’s already December 31st. Maybe the holidays have been like this for you too? Just more family, more fun, (more work!), and overall less blogging time than I’d […]

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Gift, Bonus or Tip: Call it what you want, but keep in mind….

by cv harquail December 17, 2008

I’m intrigued by the comments in the previous post about a Christmas/ Holiday tip for your au pair… it seems that some readers are taken aback by the idea that one would tip ones au pair. As a trained social scientist, I see these reactions as "data" — but what is the data telling me? […]

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