Common Challenges

When Your Au Pair Lies About Mileage on the Car

by cv harquail November 14, 2016

Sorry for the long lapse in posting…I’m still recovering. To nudge me (and you?) back into the challenges of Host Parenting, here’s an email about a problem that we faced with our Au Pair too. It was especially disappointing — and surprising — since this happened with perhaps our most mature, measured, and […]

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Do Bad Host Families Get Blacklisted By Au Pair Agencies?

by cv harquail October 23, 2016

How might Agencies keep bad Host Families from cycling from one Agency to the next, without getting removed from the program entirely? We worry not only about bad Au Pairs getting recycled though the system, but also about rematch Host Families getting one chance after another to strike out with an Au Pair. It should […]

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How To Share Information About Rematch Au Pairs, When the Agency Won’t

by cv harquail October 18, 2016

We all believe that Au Pair Agencies should be as transparent as possible about what sends Au Pairs and Host Families into rematch. We don’t want to recycle problem Au Pairs and problem Host Families, hoping that they can make some kind of barely adequate rematch that avoids anything illegal or unsafe, just so they […]

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Your Au Pair’s Bedroom: What to provide to make your Au Pair comfortable and welcome

by cv harquail October 11, 2016

Picture yourself in this room. Imagine that you’ve just spent 8 hours with energetic kids, talking in your second language, driving on unfamiliar streets on the wrong side of the road. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could walk upstairs, open the door, and step into a room like this? It doesn’t have to […]

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Au Pair Getting High In Our Home

by cv harquail October 9, 2016

When we know an Au Pair is doing something that contradicts our house rules, but we aren’t able to present positive proof of this, what can we do? We don’t want to be accusatory. But then again, we’re sure we’re right. We don’t need to see him or her rinsing out the bong in the […]

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Au Pair’s Room Is Also the Playroom. The Laundry Room. And the …

by cv harquail October 7, 2016

Here’s another email that indirectly points out how important it is that US Au Pairs and Host Families have State Department Regulations that make certain conditions mandatory. This Au Pair, writing from Europe, has discovered that her Host Family family expects the Au Pair bedroom to also be the “playroom”. US Au Pair regulations require that an […]

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Your Home is Not an Airbnb – Say no to too many Au Pair guests

by cv harquail September 14, 2016

Oh good lord, this Host Mom’s got a problem — Her au pair wants to have six people — Six people — SIX PEOPLE — come to visit and stay in the Host Family’s home. For TWO WEEKS. The answer is obviously, “No, that’s simply not possible”. The Host Mom doesn’t even have to go […]

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When a Host Family Doesn’t Keep Their Word, Get Ready To Rematch

by cv harquail September 1, 2016

au pair problems, au pair advice, choosing an au pair

When Au Pairs or Host Families have unique situations, it’s smart to negotiate ahead of time to be very, very, clear about what you need. Being specific about scheduled hours, transportation, unique food/nutrition needs, kid care tasks, and so on helps both parties make sure that they are finding the right match. This MastersStudentAuPair (whose […]

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Should An Au Pair’s Unpredictable Moods Send Us To Rematch?

by cv harquail August 31, 2016

Having an Au Pair join your family is always emotionally challenging. Even with the best and most lovely au pairs, it takes effort to get in sync with each other. We not only have to mesh with each other’s ways of doing things, sharing work, managing cars, and caring for kids, but also Host […]

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