Common Challenges

Can this relationship be saved? “Uncomfortable” or something else?

by cv harquail August 19, 2009

“Our Au Pair tells us that she is ‘uncomfortable’.” … but what does this really mean? Host parents, can you help with this request for advice? This is our first aupair…(well our very first decided she couldnt handle it and went home after 1 month). She is 22 years old from Colombia and has been […]

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Gossip Girls: When your AP tells stories, what can you do?

by cv harquail August 18, 2009

Researchers in my field of organizational behavior&theory have found that gossip in organizations provides some useful functions, like lubricating relationships, creating interpersonal bonds, allowing people to express their fears, and perhaps most important, offering people an informal way to make sense of what’s going on around them. While it may be that gossip at work […]

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Can you dock her pay if she owes you money? Poll

by cv harquail August 14, 2009

Are there any situations when it’s fair for you to withhold or ‘dock’ your au pair’s pocket money? We skirted around this issue in a previous conversation about when your au pair refuses to work, but never answered it directly. Now, we’ve got a topic request (on Skribit) with a very specific situation: You AP […]

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Calendar Advice from CalifMom

by cv harquail August 10, 2009

A treat from Calif Mom! Knowing that I’d be away from the blog (for a little longer than I’d planned) Calif Mom sent us a present: a guest post on calendars! Here’s her advice, with the usual blend of wisdom and wit! cv Dorsi mentioned Google Calendar in a comment advising a host mom who […]

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Choosing an Au Pair: Religion as an Au Pair selection criterion

by cv harquail July 28, 2009

I’m A Believer. I believe that religion is something you should seriously consider when selecting an au pair. In my family’s experience, religion has been an important selection criterion — and also the source of some interesting relationship problems. Our experience Our family is of mixed religious traditions: I’m a christian with a lower case […]

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Unhappy Complainer who won’t make friends: Can this relationship be saved?

by cv harquail July 21, 2009

It’s funny how sometimes, when it’s your situation, the whole thing seems complex. Then when someone else reads it, the answer is clear. Or not. Do we ever really know whether a new au pair (or host family) is just struggling to get adjusted, or instead if it’s a lost cause? Check out the description […]

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Medical Care for your Au Pair: Your responsibility?

by cv harquail July 16, 2009

What happens when your Au Pair gets sick and needs some medical care? We already know that as good host parents we need to provide them with reasonable ‘sick time’ off and not dock their pay (although I think it’s fine to reschedule their hours in the same week). But what about the cost of […]

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Part of the Family: The Au Pairs’ Perspective

by cv harquail July 2, 2009

Okay Au Pairs– It’s your turn to chime in… and share the au pair side of the ‘part of the family’ equation. What does it mean to you to be "part of the family"? What do host families do that helps you feel "part of the family"? What do host families do that takes away […]

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Part of the Family: What does that mean to you?

by cv harquail July 1, 2009

What does it really mean for your au pair to be "part of the family"? What do you do in your relationship with her that is different, if you treat her as "part of the family" versus if you don’t? Have you had the opportunity to compare the experience of a live-in caregiver who was […]

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Not Listening? Not Understanding? Not working out… help!

by cv harquail June 27, 2009

This mom has an interesting twist on a common challenge: the language barrier. In this case, her AP speaks clearly…she just doesn’t seem to understand…or listen.. or care. it’s not clear. Can you offer her any advice? Our new au pair, from Brazil, arrived two weeks ago after our Swedish au pair decided our family […]

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