Common Challenges

Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010
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I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to […]

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How to Handle Costs for a Ski Vacation: Who should pay for what?

by cv harquail February 5, 2010
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When a host family takes their au pair with them to work during part of the vacation, what should they provide for her during her off-duty time? Especially, what should you provide on a ski vacation, where costs are relatively high and your au pair can’t afford to pay for her own skiing? A European […]

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Moms & Au Pairs: Can I hold us to different tv rules?

by cv harquail February 4, 2010
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I’m a believer that different members of a family have different privileges and responsibilities, depending on their roles and their ages. Parents have more privileges than do children, and employers have more privileges than do employees. The rules that we follow can be different, as long as they are fair. Nobody, and I mean nobody, […]

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Au Pair Abruptly Quits, then wants to come back to see kids. Really? (poll)

by cv harquail January 28, 2010
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Here’s a painful situation, about which this host mom could use some good advice. I’m sure that this kind of situation has happened to other families who’ve gone into rematch [Something similar happened to us with our flame-out au pair, and so reading this mom’s email got me all mad all over again. What went […]

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Took the car for the weekend & lied: Should I report car stolen?

by cv harquail January 23, 2010
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The quick answer? Only if you’re ready to rematch, and Only if you are ready to have your au pair hate you. And you may well be ready for that, if this situation is what it’s boiled down to: I actually just found this great blog because I believe my au pair has stolen our […]

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Your Brother’s Wedding vs. Her 21st Birthday: Whose priority wins? (Poll)

by cv harquail January 22, 2010
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Here’s a tough situation that could use your advice! This host parent is facing what feels like a win/lose situation in a conflict between what the family wants and what the au pair wants. Check out the details, weigh in at the poll, and then offer some advice! Dear AuPairMom Readers– I was so glad […]

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Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you

by cv harquail January 19, 2010
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There are many topics that I have dreaded bringing up here, but I’m going to bring them up anyway with a little bit of warning… I’ll announce in the headline that it’s a “Tough Topic” and everyone will know to treat it gently. One of the painful tough topics is when you discover your au […]

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Haircolor and Au Pairs: What’s up with that?

by cv harquail January 16, 2010
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Last year I made a joke in one post about au pairs spending a lot of money on Garnier Nutrisse hair color, and nobody commented… I thought I was alone in the “What’s with all the hair coloring?” question. I have since discovered, for better or worse, that I am not the only host mom […]

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Protect Your Au Pair’s Off-Duty Time

by cv harquail January 11, 2010
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Au Pairs work hard. When they are off duty, they need their downtime. But, if they’re good au pairs, your kids probably like them and enjoy spending time interacting with them. Kids don’t always know the difference between on-duty and off-duty, so it’s our job as host parents to help au pairs protect their downtime. […]

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Share One Bit of Advice for a New Host Parent

by cv harquail December 30, 2009
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By popular demand, here’s a challenge to all you host parents: Your challenge: Offer ONE, just one, thing you wish you knew when you became a host parent. If someone else has already offered your #1 bit of advice, go on to share your #2 bit of advice. Let’s rack ’em up, parents. (Au pairs, […]

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