Common Challenges

Your Au Pair’s Room: Give her a choice of pillows

by cv harquail March 15, 2010

When it comes to bedding for your au pair’s room, there are three criteria that must be met: The bedding must look clean. The bedding must smell clean. There must be enough bedding. It’s a bonus if the mattress is new, if the bigger bed fits the room, or if the sheets are her or […]

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Someone Stole My Au Pair: A secret rematch behind my back

by cv harquail March 12, 2010

A Host Mom writes with a story that will irk us all. The situation is ‘over’, but she still has to cope. And, we can all wonder– how could we prevent something like this from happening in our town? Dear Au Pair Mom Readers- Has anyone else had the experience of discovering that their au […]

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What Size Bed for Your Au Pair (Poll)

by cv harquail March 11, 2010

A host mom writes: Do we need to get a bigger bed for our next au pair? Our current au pair has a queen-size bed in her room, which used to be our guest room. We are moving to a larger home in a few months. The new house will have a guest room, and […]

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Awkward: It’s not a walk of shame if we know you are safe

by cv harquail March 8, 2010

So let’s jump on in to another awkward topic — If your au pair is having fun, safe overnights, and she just wants to make sure you’re not worried, how should she tell you? Should she even tell you? I don’t actually want to know if my au pair is having fun. I do want […]

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6 Reasons why your Au Pair should NOT work a second job

by cv harquail March 6, 2010

We’ve talked recently about the issues related to having an au pair work extra hours for the host family, and we’ve also talked about whether you should let your au pair babysit for your friends. But we haven”t talked about whether you should permit your au pair to work at another job. “Why haven’t we […]

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Can this Au Pair relationship be saved? Lying, smoking, drinking, and the silent treatment

by cv harquail March 3, 2010

Hi, AuPairMom Readers– We are a host family in a metropolitan suburb with two young boys. This is our fourth year hosting. Over the years, we have had 3 very successful matches and 2 rematches – a mixed bag. The good matches were very good, and those au pairs continue to visit us, and we […]

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Sad Host Mom: How to break the bad news about her visa

by cv harquail February 20, 2010

Parents, we got this email from an active commenter, who doesn’t really have a “problem” we can fix — but she does need us a little bit. Can you share any wisdom that might make this hard situation a little easier for her and her Au Pair? We love our au pair. She came to […]

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Au Pair Asks: Host Dad is Mean to Child

by cv harquail February 16, 2010

Although this blog is not really for au pairs, there are times when other host parents are the best folks to offer advice to an au pair. This particular situation is a tough one, since the problem concerns how the Host Dad treats his son, and how (or even whether) the Host Mom and the […]

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Our Au Pair is not the cheerful girl we expected. Now what?

by cv harquail February 15, 2010

We’re 1 month into our first au pair and not sure if it’s going to be ok or not. Just to clarify we’re based outside the US so our au pair has not come to us through an agency, in fact she is American. We have 3 kids, all under 6 and there is no […]

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You’re right, he’s wrong. This is a problem.

by cv harquail February 8, 2010

Most of the time when I get an email for us at AuPairMom, I do my best to hold back. I usually want to let you all take charge of an issue, so I restrain myself from sharing my opinion first. But in this case …. well, you can tell from the post title, can’t […]

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