Common Challenges

Recent Widower / Single Host Dad: How to find the right au pair?

by cv harquail April 21, 2010

Readers, Here’s a specific question about choosing the right au pair for a family that has lost their mom through tragedy. We had one host dad comment on our earlier post about single parents, and I know that there are at least two other host dad-readers who have lost their wives and who have hired […]

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A Good Au Pair Relationship Requires Your Emotional Investment

by cv harquail April 2, 2010

Regardless of the type of childcare your family chooses for your kid(s), there is always some work involved in maintaining your relationship with the actual caregivers. With a daycare center, you need to communicate with the staff members and with the administrators on things ranging from schedules to toilet-training strategies. With your mother, mother-in-law or […]

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Just Plain Dumb: Boys, Nannies and Au Pairs

by cv harquail April 1, 2010

The following post may look like an April Fool’s Joke article, but it isn’t. A reader sent an article to me about problems that might be caused by boys having a nanny/au pair care for them instead of their mom. Our reader wondered whether this article might prompt an interesting discussion. (She thought the article […]

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When Troubles Back Home Cause Distress

by cv harquail March 30, 2010

A large number of au pairs, perhaps even a majority, become au pairs in the US as a way to escape something at home. They may be escaping a bleak economic outlook, a scarcity of jobs post-high school, intense political strife, or an unsafe environment. Many au pairs are escaping bad family situations, including their […]

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When your Au Pair has an eating disorder

by cv harquail March 25, 2010

Every au pair we’ve ever had (all 11 of them) went on some weird kind of diet. These diets included protein drinks, Slimfast shakes, grapefruits, Diet Cokes for breakfast & lunch and — my personal favorite — rice and bread. (Going without butter was where ya really saved on calories!) Thankfully, most of these diets […]

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Can this au pair relationship be saved? Laundry list of “no”s

by cv harquail March 22, 2010

Readers, this situation is a challenge on many fronts… I’ve listed them out in headings to make things a little easier. It looks like a no-win situation to me, so I’d recommend rematch. But I might be missing something… Read on and offer your thoughts. “Where do I begin? My partner and I are two […]

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Au Pairs and Your Privacy: My Au Pair’s kindof nosy!

by cv harquail March 22, 2010

When invite an au pair to come live in our home and be ‘part of the family’, our lives become an open book. Frustrated with your DS? Your au pair knows. Threw out 6 bags of organic greens that decomposed in the fridge? She saw it. Hoarding Thin Mints in your special cabinet even though […]

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Au Pair Asks: My Host Mom’s Boyfriend is cramping my (caregiving) style. Advice Please!

by cv harquail March 18, 2010

When it’s the host parent herself or himself who is making the au pair’s job difficult, she knows exactly what to do — bring the issue up with that host parent, and come to a resolution. But what if the person causing the problems isn’t the host parent, but the host parent’s “friend”? The au […]

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Abandoned by au pair, left with plane ticket

by cv harquail March 18, 2010

This just in from a Host Mom in London. I think she’s asking for two kinds of advice: how to manage the vacation childcare, and how to manage her feelings of being, um, irked: Hi, we have a 19 yr old au pair from Sweden who has been with us for 5 months after committing […]

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Au Pair Advice: She’s using my coffee mug!

by cv harquail March 17, 2010

We host parents can be a weird bunch. The kinds of things that drive us crazy… no wonder it can be hard for au pairs to get adjusted! Over the weekend I heard a crazy lament that I want to share with you. My friend has a new au pair, who’s been with them about […]

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