Common Challenges

Birthday Parties for Host Kids: Should Au Pairs Be Expected to Attend?

by cv harquail July 26, 2010

It took me several years to figure out the whole birthday party thing. By the time I realized that most parents expected to stay for the party– and that I had to feed them — the kids were old enough to be dropped off. That was when I learned that you have to have room […]

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When you initiate rematch, can you ask your Au Pair to leave immediately?

by cv harquail July 22, 2010

When you initiate rematch, can you ask your Au Pair to leave immediately? When this question popped up over the weekend, I shuddered. It brought me back instantly to our flame-out au pair, the one who announced on the last day of school that she wanted a rematch because she didn’t want to work weekends […]

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What if there were Nanny Cams for Host Parents?

by cv harquail July 15, 2010

I’m not thinking about Nanny Cams that host parents can use to watch their au pairs during the day, but hidden cameras that watched us host parents when our au pairs weren’t around. What behavior of yours would a nanny cam catch? What things would you be proud of, and what things might embarrass you? […]

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Having another baby? How to tell your au pair

by cv harquail July 12, 2010

[First in a multi-part series on New Babies & Au Pairs: Sharing the Good News… ] It’s great news for you and your partner when you discover that you’re having another baby — and it’s just the kind of news you want to share with your au pair thoughtfully. Having a baby changes things, and […]

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From “Part Time” to “Full Time”: Can I ramp up my au pair’s hours over time?

by cv harquail July 7, 2010

Dear AuPairMom, I’m a mom, employed part-time, who is thinking about getting an au pair. I’m thinking of having an au pair to (1) care for my kids while I’m working, (2) work with me as a mother’s helper as I care for the children, and (3) make it possible to get other things done […]

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Swimming, Personal Choices and Cultural Norms

by cv harquail July 5, 2010

A request for advice from “Everybody In The Pool” — Dear Au Pair Mom readers, An issue has arisen with our new au pair (arrived 2 weeks ago) – and it’s not one I anticipated. I’m hoping AuPairMom readers have some thoughts and insights… It’s a cultural issue and also a personal issue. It is […]

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When Your Host Mom is a Stripper

by cv harquail July 1, 2010

Host moms and dads have a lot of interesting occupations, and habits. On this blog, we’ve got police officers, massage therapists, teachers, managers, writers, dog breeders, and more. But up until this comment, below, I never thought any of us host parents … well, here’s the comment: This isn’t really to ask for advice, more […]

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When your Au Pair becomes more religious and observant

by cv harquail June 25, 2010

Dear AuPairMom, I’m writing on behalf of my friend, who is a nanny. I think that the situation she’s in might also be relevant to au pairs, and so I’d like to share it with you for consideration. My friend is an awesome nanny. She has worked for her non-religious family for the past 2 […]

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When Au Pairs Get Tattoos…

by cv harquail June 18, 2010

Do their moms cry, or only their host moms? Less than half of our au pairs have gotten tattoos, but each time, I’ve worried that I’ve let their moms (and dads) down. Most host parents are of my generation (more or less) so I use my own feelings about permanent body decor as a proxy […]

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Your Au Pair is not a Maid

by cv harquail June 17, 2010

What’s the difference between an au pair and a maid? In some host families, not very much. Some host families expect their au pairs to do basic housework in addition to caring for children. In the US, “housekeeping”is limited to cleaning up the kids rooms (but in my mind, not vacuuming them), keeping the play […]

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