Common Challenges

Au Pair Robbed at Gun Point: How to help her recover?

by cv harquail May 24, 2017
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She’s safely home. And really upset. Sure, the worst didn’t happen. But it doesn’t matter. The Au Pair still had the experience of being dramatically unsafe, even though she’d done all the right things. The Au Pair still has to drive the car, go out in the evenings, be the responsible adult, and continue being confident […]

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When You Give and Give, and Your Au Pair is Oblivious

by cv harquail May 13, 2017
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Dear Au Pair Host Parents– I need advice/support …. Our awesome au pair went in to an emergency medical situation a couple of weeks ago, where she came down with a stomach pain, which turned into appendicitis, and later a ruptured appendix. All told it was 5 nights in the hospital, and 10 days off the […]

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The Worst Thing an Au Pair Can Overhear

by cv harquail March 17, 2017
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Quick — what’s the worst thing your au pair could ever overhear? You telling your Host Parent partner how much the Au Pair bothers you? Some kind of grumpy food-related complaint you should be too adult to even have? You announcing that  you’ve tucked a speed tracker into the Au Pair car, so now you’ll […]

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Counting On-Duty Au Pair Hours When You’re In A Car or Plane

by cv harquail March 15, 2017
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How does your family handle the Au Pair’s time spent with the family over a long car or plane trip? Formally and officially, we are supposed to count all of this time as “on duty” hours.   But, if you have a long haul to get to your vacation destination, you can use up a […]

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Any New Advice About International Travel During an Au Pair’s Extension Year?

by cv harquail March 2, 2017
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There are some things I would never test. —  Whether the rope bridge across the gorge could hold me. — Whether that snake was was harmless. Or whether I could get my extension Au Pair back into the US after taking her with us on an international trip. With Federal Agents inspecting documents of passengers […]

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With Your Au Pair’s Social Life, Be Caring Not Controlling

by cv harquail January 28, 2017
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If you can trust your Au Pair with your children, can’t you trust her with her own Saturday night plans? I wondered this, when I read the email (below) from the OverMonitoredAuPair. I am a BIG believer in knowing how to find your Au Pair in an emergency during his/her off-duty time. I am a […]

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How to Help Your Au Pair Appreciate the “Au Pair Car”

by cv harquail January 20, 2017
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We all want to be generous, and we all want to be appreciated. And, there’s nothing like having a third car for your au pair to use to make you aware of the tension that can exist when you want to be generous and want to be appreciated. When we bought our first Volvo wagon […]

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Intervene, or Not? Our Rematched Au Pair is Misrepresenting Herself to Potential Host Parents

by cv harquail December 13, 2016
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We always, always recommend that Host Parents get current references when they consider rematch candidates.  This Host Mom’s situation explains why. Dear Au Pair Mom —  I’ve trying to figure out whether, and how, to interfere in a situation that I’m sure will become a problem. Our first Au Pair was a epic fail.   […]

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I Want To Marry Your Au Pair. Do You Mind?

by cv harquail November 29, 2016
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I love, love, love romantic stories. Especially when I have some inside scoop. Though I have no idea who the fellow is who emailed with this question, I’m only posting it on the condition that we get THE REST OF THE STORY and at least a photo of the happy couple. But first, Romeo needs […]

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Our New Au Pair is Too Quiet: She Hardly Says A Word

by cv harquail November 28, 2016
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We’re enjoying a visit from one of our former Au Pairs, and a friend of hers.  Although both of them speak English well, I’m aware once again of how challenging it can be to interact across language differences, as well as cultural differences, and even family norms. With communication challenges, I always prefer it when […]

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