Common Challenges

Explaining a Rematch to Host Children

by cv harquail October 22, 2010

“It’s not you, it’s me.” if there is one time we want an au pair to appear somewhat self-focused, it’s when he or she is explaining to host kids that they are going into rematch. When an au pair says goodbye to host children, the AP should offer an explanation that puts responsibility solely on […]

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Au Pair Asks: What happens when you discover that you can’t provide what your Host Kid with Special Needs needs?

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

Dear AuPairMoms- What happens when the au pair is placed with a host family that has a special needs child, and it isn’t working out? Both the agency and the host family knew beforehand that the au pair did not have any previous experience with special needs, but the Au Pair chose to take the […]

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Checking Facebook for Insights About Your Au Pair’s Experience

by cv harquail October 13, 2010

Who needs to snoop in an au pair’s room or flip through an au pair’s journal, when there is Facebook to tell us our au pair’s inner thoughts? Not that any of us would intentionally snoop. (As we’ve already discussed, there are very few and very specific times when snooping seems even remotely reasonable.) And, […]

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An Open Letter to Au Pairs without an Agency, Outside the USA

by cv harquail October 5, 2010

Be sure to read the comments! There is some terrific information about how agencies work (or don’t work) in specific countries! Dear Au Pairs- I’m writing this letter to you to tell you a cold, difficult truth: As much as you hope that you did some careful screening of possible host families, and as much […]

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Exploited in Italy: What’s the best way to leave my host family?

by cv harquail October 5, 2010

Dear Moms, I’ve found your website infinitely helpful to get a look at “the other side” of the au pair experience, and now I’m hoping that you can help me. The Situation I am an American girl who moved to Europe to be an au pair last month. My host family consists of a single […]

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Integrating an Au Pair when your household has an Older Teen

by cv harquail September 27, 2010

If you have both little kids and an older Teen, what are the things you need to consider as you plan for your Au Pair? Carrie asks, because she and her husband are expecting a new baby, for whom she’d like an au pair caregiver. The challenge is that Carrie also has a son from a […]

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Should you get involved in another Host Parent’s Au Pair issue?

by cv harquail September 24, 2010

I promised you that there was a part 2 to the story of the au pair and host parents who were struggling with responsibility for damage to a car. That issue was shared with us by a host mom with a personal connection to the au pair. In addition to hoping for some ideas on […]

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“Mama Needs Her Space”

by cv harquail September 22, 2010

BLJHostMom needs to vent– “Space” has been a pretty hot topic with us (here on AuPairMom) these last few weeks, and I’d love some advice. With our first AP, our biggest worry was that she would be around and it would be awkward when we just wanted to relax and watch TV in the evenings. […]

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Is our Au Pair committed?: Verify, but trust.

by cv harquail September 17, 2010

Dear AuPairMom, I’m hoping to get some input from your readers on a problem I have about trust and commitment to our family: Our AP (our second) has been with us for a few weeks. Last weekend, she traveled outside the country to see a male friend. (He’s in a country nearer to the US […]

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Someone Else in Your House: Getting comfortable with the idea of an Au Pair

by cv harquail September 16, 2010

Probably the most common obstacle for any family considering an au pair vs. other kinds of childcare is the idea of having some other adult live in your house with you. People imagine that they’ll lose their privacy, feel crowded, feel constantly observed, never have time to themselves, and grow weary from no time ‘off’. […]

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