Common Challenges

Classic Case: Your childcare needs are not your Au Pair’s priority

by cv harquail December 29, 2010

There are several situations that host parents and au pairs seem to see over and over. Each time, the situation has its own particular details, and it is happening to a host parent or au pair who feels the problems acutely and specifically. And yet, the situation has an underlying issue that we see time […]

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My Au Pair is Stealing Little Items: Should I rematch?

by cv harquail December 16, 2010

This query was tucked away in a previous post: Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you. I thought it deserved its own, up-to-the-minute conversation. From Host Mom Pippa: I just last week caught our au pair stealing little items from us, confronted her, and then caught her the next day stealing more. AP […]

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When an Invasion of Privacy Threatens an Au Pair Relationship

by cv harquail December 9, 2010

There’s a reason we have doors on our bedrooms, and it’s not to keep out the light or the noise when we’re trying to fall asleep– it’s to give us some privacy where we can completely relax, knowing that no one will see whatever it is we are doing. Sometimes I’ve felt like there is […]

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Is it reasonable to stop trusting my Au Pair after this?

by cv harquail December 5, 2010

When we share a bond of trust with another person, we can can handle almost any kind of conflict or difference of opinion. For most of us, we begin our relationships with our au pairs with a foundation of ‘swift trust’, and then build on this foundation as each party meets their obligations, treats the […]

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Will a Host Family Take Me if I Struggle with English?

by cv harquail December 3, 2010

We got this question from a potential au pair — Aupair mom, It is nice to find a place like these, at the moment im I am in the early stages of my application as Aupair in America. i have been reading a lot of posts, and it have been very interesting and helpful. To […]

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Wanted: Good (and Kind) Comebacks to Unsolicited Advice

by cv harquail November 28, 2010

Dear AuPairMom Readers- I am a 40 year old mother of three wonderful and well mannered boys. I have a great marriage and love my professional life. As a younger woman I have had many adventures. I have traveled to many countries and even lived abroad. I have no complaints. So why, why, why do […]

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My Future Host Mom’s Sister is Creeping Me Out

by cv harquail November 28, 2010

Okay, “creeping me out” is clearly an American idiom that I have supplied as a headline, but that phrase seems to capture the dynamic going on for this cautious au pair. She’s matched with a family, and getting to know them through emails, etc. before she joins the family in a few months. The family […]

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Our Au Pair Doesn’t Understand How Her Actions Affect Our Family

by cv harquail November 21, 2010

A regular reader sent me a long email about traveling with her Au Pair over the Christmas holiday. This reader is one of those very experienced, very thoughtful host moms who takes pains to see all sides of a situation, before doing her very best to be clear, constructive, and kind when she interacts with […]

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Am I being unfair if I move on, and find another au pair?

by cv harquail November 20, 2010

Here’s a request for some of your host parent wisdom: I am in need of opinions as to whether or not I am being unfair to our au pair. We have had the pleasure of hosting a delightful young woman for 1 year and we both agreed to a year-long extension. We have been pleased […]

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