Common Challenges

Tip for the Work-At-Home Parent with an Au Pair: Have Rules for Interruption

by cv harquail August 21, 2011

One of the hardest parts of being a work-at-home parent is managing the interruptions. Not that we don’t love our kids, or want to see them and help them when they need us. But we need to be able to step into the “work mode” and stay there in order to get quality work done. […]

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Tip: Know When to Blame the System (part 1)

by cv harquail August 17, 2011

Tonight I couldn’t sleep (feeling anxious about not posting on APM!) and so I tried to sneak downstairs so I could read the September issue of Vogue until I felt sleepy. Alas, no matter how softly I pressed my toes to the stairs, they groaned. They squeaked. They made so much noise that I could […]

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Ending the Au Pair Year on the Right Note, by Host Mom TACL

by cv harquail July 29, 2011

SuperHost Mom and contributing AuPairMom Advisor TACL (Taking a Computer Lunch) noticed that the blog has been rather quiet of late. Using her Masterpiece Theatre Poirot and Holmes skills, she correctly deduced that I’ve been overwhelmed enough by work that I haven’t been able to keep up. As always, lots of work is good for […]

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Family Invitations: Should your Au Pair be included?

by cv harquail July 27, 2011

How do other people see your au pair? When you tell them that she or he should be treated as “part of the family”, what do your think that means to them? Grandparents, next door neighbors, teachers, and mail carriers all have their own ideas about whether, when, and how an au pair is or […]

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Uncommunicative Au Pair Turns Passive Aggressive

by cv harquail July 14, 2011

I believe in talking things out when you and your au pair have challenges. Awkwardly, tentatively, enthusiastically, skillfully, however you can manage it. If we can’t share what we think and ask for what we need, we can’t improve relationships. That said, what can we do when talking doesn’t work? Sometimes our talk hits a […]

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Take Advantage of Your Summer Re-Sets: Revise expectations

by cv harquail June 27, 2011

Every year, I know it’s coming, but I’m never ready when it arrives… I’m not talking about Christmas (though, I could be). I’m talking about summer recess. Vacation for your school kids, and a new routine for everyone Last Weds. was my kids’ first day of summer recess, and already I’m going crazy. All those […]

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Helping our au pairs in the grey space between what we say we’ll do and what we get done

by cv harquail June 23, 2011

It will come as no surprise to most au pairs that most of us host parents have high expectations for ourselves that we often can’t meet. We want to be good drivers, calm parents, regular exercisers, and people who pick up after ourselves. And we are– just not all the time (not most of us, […]

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What if you Au Pair thinks your child might need professional help?

by cv harquail June 17, 2011

Our au pairs get an up-close and personal view of our families. Sometimes they see things we don’t see, maybe even things we don’t want to see for ourselves. Because au pairs interact with our children when we parents are often not around, and they spend longs days with our kids, they may notice things […]

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Au Pairs and Online Romances: Your role as a Host Parent

by cv harquail June 10, 2011

As host parents we feel responsible for keeping our au pairs safe, since they are under our roofs and with our families. However, we recognize that what they do on their own time is (largely) their own business. Au pairs deserve social autonomy, privacy, and the chance to experiment with new things and new relationships. […]

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Choosing an Au Pair: Will being “in recovery” from an eating disorder ruin my chances to Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 22, 2011

Would you match with a candidate who told you that she’d been treated for anorexia, and was currently healthy and in recovery? (Keep in mind that being “in recovery” for an anorexic is like being ‘”in recovery” for an alcoholic, in the sense that you are never “over it”, but always in the process of […]

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