Common Challenges

Can an Au Pair be On-Duty to House Sit or Pet Sit?

by cv harquail January 9, 2013

Is it okay to ask your Au Pair to live at your house while you are away on vacation, and to take care of your family pet? Dear AuPairMom– My husband and I are hosting an Au Pair for the first time. We have three kids, ages 13, 10 and 5 and I am a […]

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What is the right way to discipline your Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 4, 2013

“Go sit in the corner.” Over the holidays, someone told me that they’d heard about an au pair who was told by her host mom to “go sit in the corner” as punishment for doing something wrong with the kids. I was appalled. What did that host mom think she was doing, disciplining an au […]

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On Duty or Off Duty: There is no third choice. Or is there?

by cv harquail December 29, 2012

ON Duty or OFF Duty. There are only two choices for the hours on your au pair’s schedule. Host parents that try to establish a third choice, where an au pair is neither on duty nor off duty, are starting down the slippery slope of “taking advantage” of an au pair. ON Duty = Paid […]

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Start By Following the Rules: Au Pair Asks About Hours, Holidays and Discipline

by cv harquail December 29, 2012

97% of the time that something goes wrong between an au pair and a host family, it’s because one or both parties is not following the rules. Okay, maybe it’s not 97%. Maybe it’s just 95%. But in the vast majority of the problems we talk about here, someone isn’t following the rules. We got […]

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What if I actually don’t like my new Au Pair’s personality?

by cv harquail December 14, 2012

Personality matters, but we struggle to figure out how much we should let it matter. Au Pairs are caregivers, roommates, family members, and in the best of situation, they become our friends. But for some reason, many of us feel awkward making decisions about au pairs based on whether we actually like their personalities. It […]

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Create and Share Your Au Pair Holiday Gift Ideas

by cv harquail November 26, 2012

There’s nothing like a well-chosen holiday gift to tell a person “I see you. I understand you. I care about you.” Each year, the Winter holidays give us a chance to let our au pairs know that we appreciate them as a family member, as a valued childcare giver, and as a young adult “on […]

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All Unhappy Au Pair Situations Are Unhappy in Complicated Ways

by cv harquail November 25, 2012

In the nearly 6 years we’ve been talking together on this blog, we’ve never once had a concern with an au pair that was simple. Never. Not once. The situation is never just “She won’t follow directions”, or “He can’t pass the state driver’s license test”. There’s always some complicated mix of themes, usually involving […]

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This Thanksgiving, Teach Your AuPair Real American Values with #GivingTuesday

by cv harquail November 20, 2012

Just when we’re trying to celebrate the most welcoming American tradition, and start off the winter holiday with a warm, family gathering, we get Black Friday. The annual celebration of consumerism and low low prices that results in shoving, pushing, overspending, and spiritual emptiness. Black Friday is American culture at its worst. So you can […]

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