Common Challenges

When Your Au Pair Resents Working on Saturday Nights

by cv harquail April 2, 2014

There are two kinds of host family schedules: Host Families that use up all of their 45 hours during the host parents’ Mon – Fri work week, and Host Families that don’t. I can pretty much guarantee you that if your host family schedule is the second kind, and you try to use your au […]

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Au Pair lies, but my kids love him. Should we rematch?

by cv harquail March 31, 2014

Just when you think the answer is clear, a situation comes along that makes it foggy again. Only last week, I claimed that repeated lying was an automatic, unquestionable grounds for rematch. Then, we got this email, below, from DevastatedHM. DevastatedHM has an au pair that she and her family adore, but who has broken […]

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Two Weeks, Three Lies, and One Next Step: Rematch

by cv harquail March 26, 2014

Unsafe behavior. Confirmed serious lying. These are the two unquestionable reasons for rematching– even if your au pair is brand-new. Of course, the agencies and even we ourselves ask that we give each new au pair situation a chance to work itself out. Many of us have had au pairs who turned out to be […]

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Create A Bucket List for Au Pair Adventures

by cv harquail March 24, 2014

If you could create a ‘bucket’ list for any Au Pair coming to the USA, to help him or her make sure to take FULL advantage of the Au Pair adventure, what would you recommend? Writes TexasHM: This morning I had a random idea – what if I created for my AP a list like this […]

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50 Shades of Shocking? Au Pair has trashy taste in reading

by cv harquail March 1, 2014

It can be pretty exciting to finally ‘find’ your au pair match, and to be able to look forward to meeting your new au pair. That is, until you discover how s/he likes to spend her/his free time. Dear AuPairMom– Am I a prude, or is this something to be concerned about? We recently […]

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When Your Au Pair Wants To Bring Home A New Romance

by cv harquail February 22, 2014

Oh, the au pair adventure! A new country, a new family, and sometimes even a new romance. When our au pairs fall in love — or heck, if they find somebody really hot that they want to date — they often want to bring this person home with them. When that home is also your […]

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My Host Mom is Snooping In My Bedroom. How can get some privacy?

by cv harquail February 18, 2014

Dear AuPair Moms –– I’d like your thoughts about managing privacy, especially with a host mom who’s a bit, shall we say, inquisitive. As an au pair, I have my own room in my host family’s house. Both my HM and HF are very private people, which I appreciate, since I am the same. […]

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Au Pair Appreciation: 3 Ways To Make Your Words Matter

by cv harquail February 6, 2014

“Why”, “Because”, and “For Example” are some of my favorite words. As a trained social scientist, I’ve been taught to hunt down the reasons, the connections, and the proof behind every claim I make in a research paper. In research papers you have to persuade people that what you’ve found is real. And it turns […]

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When Your Au Pair’s Parents Come to Visit

by cv harquail January 23, 2014

Dear AuPair Mom– We have a lovely, responsible Au Pair whose parents miss her dearly. They have decided to visit twice (twice!) during the year and want to stay with us in order to maximize their time with their daughter. I’m apprehensive about the whole thing, because hosting parents is not the same as hosting […]

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The “Fire Or Blood” Rule for Au Pairs With Work-At-Home Parents

by cv harquail January 20, 2014

I saw this photo on Twitter today and it cracked me up. It reminded me of my own (vain? valiant?) attempts to teach my au pairs and now my tweenagers when it is and isn’t okay to interrupt me in my home office. (Remember this photo?) These days, I’ve shifted to a […]

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