Common Challenges

New Year, New Expectations: Having A ‘Reset’ Conversation

by cv harquail January 28, 2015

[ Here’s one from the archives — We’ve been using the term “reset conversation” a lot this past year… here’s where it comes from, and how to execute one. ] There are several times each year, and several times in each AuPair year, when it makes sense to reset your expectations with your au pair. The […]

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Does Your Au Pair Get Paid A Stipend When S/he’s Sick?

by cv harquail January 26, 2015

When your au pair gets sick for more than a few days, questions about substitute childcare, sick days, and additional costs can put pressure on the balancing act between “part of the family” and “employee”. Every family needs a backup plan for the occasional day or two (or three) when an Au Pair is laid […]

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When Your Au Pair Repeatedly Loses Things

by cv harquail January 23, 2015

I’m known for losing things. Sunglasses, cell phone, car keys, arguments, emergency chocolate, the Costco card… . I try hard to hold on to things, but the absent-minded part of being a professor is really strong with this one. My own sensitivity to losing things has led me to compensate for potential losses in two […]

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Help Your Au Pair Take Snow Days In Stride

by cv harquail January 19, 2015

Au Pairs enjoy their first snowfall au pair advice low cost childcare

Few events clarify the gap between how working parents and their school age kids respond to changes than the announcement of a snow day. When I was little, I thought snow days were magical. An overwhelming amount of snow combined with a day off from school seemed like a gift from the heavens — to […]

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Reimbursing Your Au Pair: Petty Cash Jars or Slush Funds?

by cv harquail January 16, 2015

How does your family manage paying for small things, like pizzas, movie tickets, or another gallon of milk? Petty Cash Jars I’m a big fan of the petty cash jar (or in our case, a zippered pencil case /envelope in the kitchen drawer). I keep about $20 in the envelope– usually in $1s and […]

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Awkward Arrival Time But We Like This Au Pair — Should We Match or Move On?

by cv harquail January 15, 2015

We’re new to the AP process, currently interviewing for our first AP ever. I’m in academia, and was hoping for someone to start in July or August, so that they can get comfortable with my son (will be 3 years old in the Fall) before school starts back up in September. One issue is that […]

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Why You Shouldn’t Round Up Your Au Pair’s Weekly Stipend

by cv harquail January 12, 2015

What is “One Hundred Ninety-Five Dollars and Seventy Five Cents“? A: The amount of an Au Pair’s weekly stipend, or B: An awkward, not-round number? Both. Which is why many families ’round up’ from $195.75 and pay their au pairs an even $200 per week. Rounding Up seems to make sense. If you pay your […]

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Au Pair Host Parent Word for the Year: Hygge

by cv harquail January 2, 2015

Last New Year many of use chose a few ‘words of the year’ to help keep us focused on our values and goals as host parents (and people!). Micro-affirmations like “3 Words“, Core Desired Feelings , and even just a parenting mantra help us make small changes in our habits that, over time, can help us grow. […]

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Create a Holiday Tradition– Just for your Au Pair

by cv harquail December 10, 2014

You were wondering when I’d start the holiday posts … and here’s the first one! When new people enter our families, a great way to welcome them is to include them explicitly in our family holiday celebrations. Efforts like: Creating a Christmas stocking for your au pair to hang along with the kids’, Getting an additional […]

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Share The Fun and the Not-So-Fun with Your Au Pair

by cv harquail November 11, 2014

Prompted by our conversation over the weekend about the au pair who was unhappy with the ratio of chores-to-child interaction in his work week, I’m reposting something from 2009: One super-helpful piece of advice my friend Adelaide gave me when we got our first au pair was “Be Sure to Share the Cream.” Share both […]

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