Common Challenges

Au Pair Handbook: Describing “Give and Take” Philosophy

by cv harquail May 23, 2015

One in an ongoing series of posts on very specific information to include in your AuPair Handbook… HostMom MeanwhileInCanada writes: I am currently in the process of revising the section of my handbook on give-and-take & related attitude (it’s in the section on “being part of the family”). I know there have been multiple discussions on […]

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Night Owl Au Pairs: Should You Give Them a Bedtime?

by cv harquail May 19, 2015

Dear AuPair Mom, I am always delighted and relieved when my AP makes friends and starts spending time with them. I have never set a curfew since it seems to me that if I expect them to be responsible for my 4 children, I ought to reasonably expect them to be responsible for themselves; they […]

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When Au Pair Candor Hurts Your Host Parent Feelings

by cv harquail May 18, 2015

We Host Parents want our Au Pairs to be truthful with us. Whether the topic is homesickness, feelings of depression, concerns about children’s behavior, or even our own emotional situations, we want our au pairs to tell us how they see things. As Americans, we believe that candor (being forthcoming) and honesty (telling the truth) […]

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Does Your Au Pair Car Have A Curfew? (poll)

by cv harquail May 14, 2015

Back in 2010, we had poll to see what percent of au pair blog readers had a curfew on the car that the au pair uses. 60% of host families who responded to that poll had a curfew on their au pair car [ Check out that post: Au Pair Guidelines: Does your car have a curfew? (Poll) ] […]

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Why Have a Curfew on Your Car and not Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 13, 2015

Some readers have wondered why a family might put a curfew on the au pair car, but not have a curfew on the au pair him/herself. They point out that if au pairs are dependent on the au pair car for transportation during their time off, then having a curfew on the car is effectively the […]

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Helping an Au Pair with Depression – without Rematch

by cv harquail May 11, 2015

It’s more than homesickness. It’s more than a bad day, or a bad mood. It’s depression, and it’s a serious disorder. Is there anything a host parent can do to help? HostMomInParadise writes: I am a host mom in transition. My au pair had been here 8 months and left suddenly, stopping work abruptly and […]

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Managing Your Au Pair When Someone in the Family is Sick

by cv harquail May 7, 2015

from ShouldBeWorking: Background: Anorexic teen daughter is in hospital. This is a relief, actually. We had some very bad weeks and now she is getting good care and nutrition. I have been beyond exhausted, anxious and miserable trying to re-feed her and seeing things just fall apart. While she is inpatient I’m trying to rest […]

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When Au Pairs Plan In Advance Not To Complete Their Year

by cv harquail April 23, 2015

Au Pair contracts, for both the au pair and the family, exist so that both parties are absolutely clear about what they can expect from each other. A Host Family pays an agency fee that they expect to cover 12 month of service. Indeed, knowing that you can amortize the cost of finding and training an […]

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Can an Au Pair Help An Anorexic Host Mom? Should She Try?

by cv harquail April 21, 2015

When an au pair notices that the host mom is having some kind of personal problem, should the au pair try to talk with the host mom about it? When I think about this question in the abstract, my answer is “Of course! If the au pair cares about the host mm as a person, […]

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Selling Our House: How do we show the Au Pair Room to Buyers?

by cv harquail April 14, 2015

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(Part of a series on Moving With Your Au Pair) When your family is selling your house, everyone has to pitch in to make the sale as easy as possible. This means – being on their best ‘pick up after yourself’ behavior, – being ready to dash out and stay out at a moment’s notice, […]

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