Emotions

When Troubles Back Home Cause Distress

by cv harquail March 30, 2010

A large number of au pairs, perhaps even a majority, become au pairs in the US as a way to escape something at home. They may be escaping a bleak economic outlook, a scarcity of jobs post-high school, intense political strife, or an unsafe environment. Many au pairs are escaping bad family situations, including their […]

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Au Pair Advice: She’s using my coffee mug!

by cv harquail March 17, 2010

We host parents can be a weird bunch. The kinds of things that drive us crazy… no wonder it can be hard for au pairs to get adjusted! Over the weekend I heard a crazy lament that I want to share with you. My friend has a new au pair, who’s been with them about […]

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Someone Stole My Au Pair: A secret rematch behind my back

by cv harquail March 12, 2010

A Host Mom writes with a story that will irk us all. The situation is ‘over’, but she still has to cope. And, we can all wonder– how could we prevent something like this from happening in our town? Dear Au Pair Mom Readers- Has anyone else had the experience of discovering that their au […]

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Sad Host Mom: How to break the bad news about her visa

by cv harquail February 20, 2010

Parents, we got this email from an active commenter, who doesn’t really have a “problem” we can fix — but she does need us a little bit. Can you share any wisdom that might make this hard situation a little easier for her and her Au Pair? We love our au pair. She came to […]

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Our Au Pair is not the cheerful girl we expected. Now what?

by cv harquail February 15, 2010

We’re 1 month into our first au pair and not sure if it’s going to be ok or not. Just to clarify we’re based outside the US so our au pair has not come to us through an agency, in fact she is American. We have 3 kids, all under 6 and there is no […]

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Au Pair Abruptly Quits, then wants to come back to see kids. Really? (poll)

by cv harquail January 28, 2010

Here’s a painful situation, about which this host mom could use some good advice. I’m sure that this kind of situation has happened to other families who’ve gone into rematch [Something similar happened to us with our flame-out au pair, and so reading this mom’s email got me all mad all over again. What went […]

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When your personal, private challenges affect your Au Pair relationship

by cv harquail September 23, 2009

Often on this blog we talk about what’s happening between you and your au pair as the source of difficulties– but sometimes the difficulty is all of our own making. Things happen to us host parents — grandparents die, host parents divorce, someone loses a job, a parent gets hospitalized, a child is challenged, and […]

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Unhappy Complainer who won’t make friends: Can this relationship be saved?

by cv harquail July 21, 2009

It’s funny how sometimes, when it’s your situation, the whole thing seems complex. Then when someone else reads it, the answer is clear. Or not. Do we ever really know whether a new au pair (or host family) is just struggling to get adjusted, or instead if it’s a lost cause? Check out the description […]

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Part of the Family: What does that mean to you?

by cv harquail July 1, 2009

What does it really mean for your au pair to be "part of the family"? What do you do in your relationship with her that is different, if you treat her as "part of the family" versus if you don’t? Have you had the opportunity to compare the experience of a live-in caregiver who was […]

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Au Pair Appreciation: Hooray for all of you!

by cv harquail May 8, 2009

Well, we’ve come to the end of the very first annual International Au Pair Appreciation Week! Thank you to the host moms and dads who sent in the stories for the Au Pair Appreciation posts this week. Thank you to all of you who commented on the stories, offered snippets of your own stories, and […]

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