Emotions

Choosing an Au Pair: Will being “in recovery” from an eating disorder ruin my chances to Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 22, 2011
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Would you match with a candidate who told you that she’d been treated for anorexia, and was currently healthy and in recovery? (Keep in mind that being “in recovery” for an anorexic is like being ‘”in recovery” for an alcoholic, in the sense that you are never “over it”, but always in the process of […]

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Angry 11 yr old, Avoidant Parents- what’s an au pair to do?

by cv harquail March 27, 2011
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Dear AuPairMom — Hi, I was using google to look for some advice when I came across your website. I’m an au pair and I’ve been living in the US for 3 months now and at the minute, my 9 months remaining just feels like the longest time. I look after 2 kids and I’m […]

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Arguments between my child and my Au Pair are driving me nuts!

by cv harquail March 5, 2011
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Dear Au Pair Mom readers– Our au pair has been with us for 1 1/2 months. She’s 19, Italian, and speaks excellent English. She cares for our daughter while I work part-time the house, part-time out. The problem is that our daughter, who is about to turn 4, is having a hard time with this […]

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My Child Doesn’t Want an Au Pair (and we need to have one). Ideas?

by cv harquail November 2, 2010
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I am a single HM, with a wonderful, but very strong willed 5yr old girl. We had our first AP in June for 10 weeks this year to see how it worked for us and to cover the 6 wk school holidays. I had previously had a month off work sick, but normally work full […]

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How can I get my Au Pair to CALM DOWN! Guest Post by CalifMom

by CalifMom October 27, 2010
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[Even though she’s out on the edge here, I had to tell you that this was written by CalifMom. Of course, you’ll recognize her voice, but I want to make sure she gets public credit because she’s so damn darn funny. That said, do NOT give this momma a hard time about her *&^$ and […]

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Explaining a Rematch to Host Children

by cv harquail October 22, 2010
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“It’s not you, it’s me.” if there is one time we want an au pair to appear somewhat self-focused, it’s when he or she is explaining to host kids that they are going into rematch. When an au pair says goodbye to host children, the AP should offer an explanation that puts responsibility solely on […]

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When your Au Pair confides in you … about something awful

by cv harquail June 11, 2010
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This is a heavy topic for a Friday. Apologies in advance. I’ve mentioned before that I believe that there are just as many young people who become au pairs to escape something as there are those who become au pairs to find something. Au Pairs who are escaping are fleeing from acute personal disappointments, painful […]

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When you need some time alone … with your kids, without the Au Pair

by cv harquail May 17, 2010
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‘SotaGal commented last week about, sometimes, she just wants to be with her kids, alone. “Mommy-a-mano”, no DH, no DP, no AP. Just Mom & the kids. There is nothing wrong with that. We all want 1 on 1/2/3 time, time when we are the only adult in the room, the only adult in the […]

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Recent Widower / Single Host Dad: How to find the right au pair?

by cv harquail April 21, 2010
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Readers, Here’s a specific question about choosing the right au pair for a family that has lost their mom through tragedy. We had one host dad comment on our earlier post about single parents, and I know that there are at least two other host dad-readers who have lost their wives and who have hired […]

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A Good Au Pair Relationship Requires Your Emotional Investment

by cv harquail April 2, 2010
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Regardless of the type of childcare your family chooses for your kid(s), there is always some work involved in maintaining your relationship with the actual caregivers. With a daycare center, you need to communicate with the staff members and with the administrators on things ranging from schedules to toilet-training strategies. With your mother, mother-in-law or […]

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