Differences

When Your Au Pair Breaks Your Psychological Contract

by cv harquail April 24, 2010
July 19: Balancing act (58/61) by theDQT

[ Note: I think this might be the longest AuPairMom post I’ve ever written. It was a long train ride and I think I got carried away.] Host families and au pairs call it mutual expectations, and management scholars call it the “psychological contract”. The idea behind a psychological contract is that we agree to […]

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Matching with an Au Pair: When Racism interferes

by cv harquail October 2, 2009
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Take a deep breath everyone– time to talk about something many people find uncomfortable: Racism.  But talk about it we must, because racism gets in the way of our relationships with each other. 3 Sources of “Racism Interference” Racism interference can come from three directions, any of which can influence your match with an Au […]

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Can this relationship be saved? “Uncomfortable” or something else?

by cv harquail August 19, 2009
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“Our Au Pair tells us that she is ‘uncomfortable’.” … but what does this really mean? Host parents, can you help with this request for advice? This is our first aupair…(well our very first decided she couldnt handle it and went home after 1 month). She is 22 years old from Colombia and has been […]

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Choosing an Au Pair: Religion as an Au Pair selection criterion

by cv harquail July 28, 2009
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I’m A Believer. I believe that religion is something you should seriously consider when selecting an au pair. In my family’s experience, religion has been an important selection criterion — and also the source of some interesting relationship problems. Our experience Our family is of mixed religious traditions: I’m a christian with a lower case […]

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Not Listening? Not Understanding? Not working out… help!

by cv harquail June 27, 2009
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This mom has an interesting twist on a common challenge: the language barrier. In this case, her AP speaks clearly…she just doesn’t seem to understand…or listen.. or care. it’s not clear. Can you offer her any advice? Our new au pair, from Brazil, arrived two weeks ago after our Swedish au pair decided our family […]

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Helping a Shy Au Pair

by cv harquail June 18, 2009
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Have you ever had an au pair who was so painfully shy that she was no fun to be around? Host mom Talliecat is struggling with this issue: Our au pair ( 20 yrs old) arrived from Finland around the middle of April. She has great childcare experience, however she is painfully shy. My husband […]

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Au Pair Advice: Can we get her to speak the right language with the kids?

by cv harquail May 21, 2009
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Sing me Spanish techno? This just in from Madrid!!  A host mom with a different kind of language challenge! Just about every host family- au pair relationship I know of feels some kind of communication challenge… and these are always exacerbated when the host family and au pair grew up speaking different languages.  But this […]

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Follow Up: Rude Comments about Au Pairs– How to respond

by cv harquail May 19, 2009
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I was thinking again about our conversation around "Myths about au pairs: Au Pair = "Hottie" , and ideas about how to respond when people make rude comments to us host parents about au pairs. One au pair commented that she was concerned that If people make these sorts of comments in your au pair’s […]

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The Magic Wand Question

by cv harquail May 12, 2009
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We all know that having frank, candid talks between Host Parents and Au Pairs can be difficult. It can be hard to share tough feedback or to ask for a change in behavior. We recognize that often, not only the au pair but also the host parents and/or kids have to make changes in order […]

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Advice Wanted: Young marriage, young mommy, in Hawaii

by cv harquail May 11, 2009
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I am thinking of hiring an au pair for my baby (I am actually pregnant, but I will need help from Jan 2010). Unfortunately, we cannot afford a local nanny, and I find it hard to trust a high school kid to be with my little one…is having an au pair a good idea? The […]

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