Expectations & Responsibilities

When What Host Parents Want Isn’t Quite What Host Parents Do

by cv harquail September 1, 2015

Sometimes I look at my Au Pair handbook and roll my eyes. It is more fantasy than reality. More aspirational than actual. I look at the way I’ve described our family life: “We’re a fun loving family who enjoys playing together“, and I think of all the times I’d have preferred to stay on the […]

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Would You Recommend An Au Pair to This Family?

by cv harquail July 5, 2015

We have a new and unconventional need for childcare. Would an Au Pair be the right choice for us? How would we know? My husband and I have had an awesome nanny (who does not live with us) for the last year since our son was born. However, my husband has to leave the […]

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Have Au Pairs Come to Expect Too Much? (Poll)

by cv harquail May 29, 2015

A few weeks ago I raised the question: How Have Au Pair Host Parents -As A Group- Changed Over Time? BeachTown HostMom wrote to pose the other side of the question — (How) Have Au Pair expectations changed over time? She writes: I’ve started to noticed some changes in the au pair community and […]

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When Your Au Pair Complains About A Fair Schedule

by cv harquail March 9, 2015

File this under: “Grrrrrr.” You are a lovely family with an adorable child. You offer a reasonably cushy schedule to your au pair. Most days it’s 2 hours in the morning and 4- 4 1/2 in the afternoon/evening. You go out some weeks nights here and there, to book club or (gasp) to the gym. And […]

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Which Au Pair Rules Feel Flexible?

by cv harquail February 4, 2015

This is a companion post to “Which Host Family Rules Feel Flexible to Au Pairs?” Au Pair Program Rules are Great. One of the strongest elements of the US Au Pair Program is the framework created by the State Department rules. These clear and specific boundaries around work hours and work responsibilities help US Host Parents and […]

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Awkward Arrival Time But We Like This Au Pair — Should We Match or Move On?

by cv harquail January 15, 2015

We’re new to the AP process, currently interviewing for our first AP ever. I’m in academia, and was hoping for someone to start in July or August, so that they can get comfortable with my son (will be 3 years old in the Fall) before school starts back up in September. One issue is that […]

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“Pitching In”: What does that mean in your host family?

by cv harquail July 15, 2014

Print by OrangeTwist, available for purchase at Etsy

What does it mean to “pitch in” with host family chores? Pitching In (defn): To join the family in doing some everyday household upkeep, to help keep the household running smoothly In anticipation of an au pair question that will get posted later this week, I wanted to sketch out the basic advice (okay, my aupairmom […]

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Choosing An Au Pair: Reading between the lines of an email reply

by cv harquail April 28, 2014

People tease me about the number of emoticons, doge gifs, and exclamation points I use in my email, but I refuse to give up on anything that might help me convey the feelings behind my words — and to avoid being misinterpreted. It’s happened to all of us, when we’ve rushed to reply, or we […]

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Don’t try to make your “two toddlers, small house, no au pair car” life “attractive”

by cv harquail April 22, 2014

“There’s a lid for every pot.” This wisdom was offered by HRHM four years ago, and it’s stuck with me. I love it because it’s just so TRUE when it comes to au pairs and host families. No matter how weird unique your family is or how weird distinctive an au pair candidate is, if […]

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The Two Biggest Reasons Host Parents Push the Limits of the Au Pair Program

by cv harquail July 18, 2013

Host Parents in the AuPairMom community do their very best to follow the spirit and the letter of the Au Pair Program. Yet even the most honorable, rule-abiding host parents can feel pressure to push the limits of the Au Pair program. Why? Because — as designed– an Au Pair working according to the rules […]

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