Caring for children

When Grandma Interferes in the Au Pair-Host Parent Relationship

by cv harquail October 25, 2010

The only people who should be involved in the relationship between the Au Pair and his or her Host Parents are the au pair and the host parents. The au pair should get instruction and feedback directly from the parents, and the parents should focus on the au pair’s experiences with the family and the […]

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Explaining a Rematch to Host Children

by cv harquail October 22, 2010

“It’s not you, it’s me.” if there is one time we want an au pair to appear somewhat self-focused, it’s when he or she is explaining to host kids that they are going into rematch. When an au pair says goodbye to host children, the AP should offer an explanation that puts responsibility solely on […]

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New baby, New Challenges for your Au Pair

by cv harquail October 19, 2010

When a new baby arrives, so do lots of new family dynamics. We’ve discussed so of these already, in the conversation about Having another baby? How to tell your au pair. But, we recently got this request from an au pair, who’d like some help in thinking about the challenges of a new baby in […]

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Finding an Au Pair for a child with Special Needs: Willingness is not enough

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

When I first noticed that au pairs could indicate with a simple check mark whether they were “willing” to match with a family with host kids with special needs, I was surprised. I was pleased that there was an easy way for au pair candidates to indicate, without embarrassment, whether or not they felt they […]

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Regulations & Additional Training for Au Pairs of Children with Special Needs

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

The guidelines of the US Dept. of State regarding au pairs states that : Au pairs may not be placed: In families with a special needs child, as identified by the family. The au pair can work with a special needs child if s/he has identified prior experience, skill, or training in caring for special […]

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She extended, and left her enthusiasm behind…

by cv harquail October 9, 2010

Readers, we got this request from one of our regular contributors, who needs our advice this time… Her situation is long, and the story is complex, but I’m posting it all because (it seems to me) that the context matters. There are issues of schedule change, trauma in the Host Mom’s life, efforts to work […]

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5 Tips to Help Your Au Pair Prepare Healthy Meals for Kids

by cv harquail September 29, 2010

Sometimes, I get really envious of host families whose au pairs know how to cook. I mean really know how to cook– au pairs who will suggest meals, create something new out of a chicken breast, and clip a recipe from People Magazine. We have never had an au pair who is an accomplished cook, […]

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Share with your Au Pair your system for ‘disciplining’ your kids

by cv harquail August 10, 2010

Usually I shy away from offering or requesting parenting advice on this blog… I know what has worked for my family and I also know that every family’s systems have to fit within its own values, norms and culture. So, when it comes to questions of “how should my Au Pair discipline my kids” I […]

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Birthday Gifts for Host Kids: Yes and No

by cv harquail July 26, 2010

YES Any au pair with any sensitivity to the host child under her or his care should get that host child something to mark the child’s birthday. NO It doesn’t have to be expensive. It can be something as simple as a specially-selected yet store bought card with a photo insider. But, no, you Au […]

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Birthday Parties for Host Kids: Should Au Pairs Be Expected to Attend?

by cv harquail July 26, 2010

It took me several years to figure out the whole birthday party thing. By the time I realized that most parents expected to stay for the party– and that I had to feed them — the kids were old enough to be dropped off. That was when I learned that you have to have room […]

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