Random Advice

Do Our Careful Reviews of Au Pair Applications Actually Make A Difference?

by cv harquail February 1, 2014

Awesome Contributor and Host Mom Dorsi asks: “If you were to revisit the applications of your best and worst Au Pairs, what would you learn about making a good choice?”, Dorsi asks. Would you actually learn…. anything? The Oh-So-Wise ShouldBeWorking replies: “What kills me about how fabulous our current match is is that there was […]

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Policies for Hosting Out-Of-Town Guests: Polls

by cv harquail January 25, 2014

Let’s get a sense of how many of us have which kinds of guidelines about out-of-town guests. Take these polls, below —- but EXCLUDE romantic relationships (e.g., boyfriend or girlfriend from back home) since these have been shown to have a separate dynamic. More on that in another post. Please add details […]

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When Your Au Pair is the Neighborhood Safety Net

by cv harquail January 22, 2014

We’re on our fourth day of snow-related school closings this month, and I’m really starting to feel the burden of being the only adult working at home– in (what seems like) the whole neighborhood. For parents who work outside the home, snow days can cause a lot of childcare problems. If you have a childcare […]

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When Host Moms Need Support and Not Just Advice

by cv harquail November 23, 2013

AuPairMom gets two kinds of emails– emails asking for advice on how or what to do, and emails asking for support in just dealing with whatever is happening. Interestingly, every email we get is BOTH of those types. Sometimes we know what we need to do. For example, almost every email asking ‘Should we go […]

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How Much Does the Au Pair Agency You Choose Really Matter?

by cv harquail August 21, 2013

Of all the pieces that go into finding, matching and working with an au pair that’s ‘right for you’, the agency you choose is pretty low on the totem pole. I say that having only ever used one agency, so I know I’m not speaking from experience. At least with regard to agencies. Instead, I […]

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Share what you know about Au Pairs and Cross Cultural Communications!

by cv harquail August 7, 2013

Earlier this spring, I was interviewed for a research project on cross cultural challenges with host families and au pairs. The researchers recently wrote to tell me they’ are having a difficult time getting the number of interviewees that they need, and they asked if I could share this request on AuPairMom: “We are two […]

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Gone Fishin’ — Back in mid-August

by cv harquail August 7, 2013

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Too Stern? Or Not Stern Enough? Your Au Pair’s ‘Tone of Voice’ with Kids

by cv harquail August 6, 2013

From Should be working How can I help the AP know – when to be tough, – when to insist, – when to give in, – when to just do it for the kid even though the kid can do it for himself, – when to reach for the ‘strict tone’ and when to leave […]

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How might an Au Pair help a grieving family?

by cv harquail July 17, 2013

Dear Au Pair Moms – I was an AP for 2 years with a family, then came back home. Now, two years later, I will be going back to help the family during a very difficult time. I wanted to go back because my HD got diagnosed with cancer last year, and with the kids’ […]

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