Can this relationship be saved?

When Your Au Pair Breaks Your Psychological Contract

by cv harquail April 24, 2010

July 19: Balancing act (58/61) by theDQT

[ Note: I think this might be the longest AuPairMom post I’ve ever written. It was a long train ride and I think I got carried away.] Host families and au pairs call it mutual expectations, and management scholars call it the “psychological contract”. The idea behind a psychological contract is that we agree to […]

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Recent Widower / Single Host Dad: How to find the right au pair?

by cv harquail April 21, 2010

Readers, Here’s a specific question about choosing the right au pair for a family that has lost their mom through tragedy. We had one host dad comment on our earlier post about single parents, and I know that there are at least two other host dad-readers who have lost their wives and who have hired […]

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We interrupt this vacation…

by cv harquail April 19, 2010

Hi AuPairMom readers — I didn’t think it would be this long between posts — we’ve gone off for a long-awaited family vacation and gotten sidetracked by volcano-related drama. Let it suffice to say that, since we leave for home from Rome, at the end of the week, we expect to slip underneath the ash […]

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Au Pairs and the Single Host Parent

by cv harquail April 18, 2010

We haven’t talked much about the specific challenges of host parent – au pair relationships when there is only one parent, a single parent, involved. There are some challenges that are specific to the gender & orientation balance, of, say, a female au pair and a single host dad, or a male au pair and […]

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Deciding whether to extend: The Au Pair’s Point of View

by cv harquail April 11, 2010

When we have an au pair we really like, and even sometimes a so-so au pair, we start to think: Hey, maybe we should extend with this au pair… another 6, 9, or 12 months with the comfort of knowing what we’ve got, taking advantage our mutual investment in the relationship, keeping things stable for […]

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Au Pair Asks: When Host Kids Are Mean

by cv harquail April 6, 2010

Hi Readers, we interrupt our regularly scheduled plan for an emergency request for advice that popped up in the comments of the previous post. Here’s the issue, from VA AuPairMaidNanny: Some of you dedicated readers & Host Parents will remember that I posted a few weeks ago about my experience so far. Many of you […]

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A Good Au Pair Relationship Requires Your Emotional Investment

by cv harquail April 2, 2010

Regardless of the type of childcare your family chooses for your kid(s), there is always some work involved in maintaining your relationship with the actual caregivers. With a daycare center, you need to communicate with the staff members and with the administrators on things ranging from schedules to toilet-training strategies. With your mother, mother-in-law or […]

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When Troubles Back Home Cause Distress

by cv harquail March 30, 2010

A large number of au pairs, perhaps even a majority, become au pairs in the US as a way to escape something at home. They may be escaping a bleak economic outlook, a scarcity of jobs post-high school, intense political strife, or an unsafe environment. Many au pairs are escaping bad family situations, including their […]

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Au Pair Management Tip: Schedule Transition Time

by cv harquail March 29, 2010

Here is a tip for both host parent and au pairs alike: Schedule transition time, with explicit overlap between when the au pair and the parent (or other caregiver) switch who’s ‘on duty’. Back when I worked as a manufacturing manager I always had to be there for “shift overlap”, when the outgoing shift would […]

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Interviewing Au Pair Candidates: Every Question You’ve Ever Recommended We Ask

by cv harquail March 23, 2010

Host Mom Melinda sent us all a wonderful present. Melinda went through many, many posts on AuPairMom where we’ve recommended interview questions — AND she put them all together! This will be a huge, long list. It includes some questions you’ll see on agency sites, plus several questions *exclusive* to all of us here. Thank […]

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