Can this relationship be saved?

Deciding whether to extend: The Au Pair’s Point of View

by cv harquail April 11, 2010
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When we have an au pair we really like, and even sometimes a so-so au pair, we start to think: Hey, maybe we should extend with this au pair… another 6, 9, or 12 months with the comfort of knowing what we’ve got, taking advantage our mutual investment in the relationship, keeping things stable for […]

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Au Pair Asks: When Host Kids Are Mean

by cv harquail April 6, 2010
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Hi Readers, we interrupt our regularly scheduled plan for an emergency request for advice that popped up in the comments of the previous post. Here’s the issue, from VA AuPairMaidNanny: Some of you dedicated readers & Host Parents will remember that I posted a few weeks ago about my experience so far. Many of you […]

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A Good Au Pair Relationship Requires Your Emotional Investment

by cv harquail April 2, 2010
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Regardless of the type of childcare your family chooses for your kid(s), there is always some work involved in maintaining your relationship with the actual caregivers. With a daycare center, you need to communicate with the staff members and with the administrators on things ranging from schedules to toilet-training strategies. With your mother, mother-in-law or […]

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When Troubles Back Home Cause Distress

by cv harquail March 30, 2010
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A large number of au pairs, perhaps even a majority, become au pairs in the US as a way to escape something at home. They may be escaping a bleak economic outlook, a scarcity of jobs post-high school, intense political strife, or an unsafe environment. Many au pairs are escaping bad family situations, including their […]

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Au Pair Management Tip: Schedule Transition Time

by cv harquail March 29, 2010
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Here is a tip for both host parent and au pairs alike: Schedule transition time, with explicit overlap between when the au pair and the parent (or other caregiver) switch who’s ‘on duty’. Back when I worked as a manufacturing manager I always had to be there for “shift overlap”, when the outgoing shift would […]

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Interviewing Au Pair Candidates: Every Question You’ve Ever Recommended We Ask

by cv harquail March 23, 2010
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Host Mom Melinda sent us all a wonderful present. Melinda went through many, many posts on AuPairMom where we’ve recommended interview questions — AND she put them all together! This will be a huge, long list. It includes some questions you’ll see on agency sites, plus several questions *exclusive* to all of us here. Thank […]

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Can this au pair relationship be saved? Laundry list of “no”s

by cv harquail March 22, 2010
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Readers, this situation is a challenge on many fronts… I’ve listed them out in headings to make things a little easier. It looks like a no-win situation to me, so I’d recommend rematch. But I might be missing something… Read on and offer your thoughts. “Where do I begin? My partner and I are two […]

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Au Pair Asks: My Host Mom’s Boyfriend is cramping my (caregiving) style. Advice Please!

by cv harquail March 18, 2010
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When it’s the host parent herself or himself who is making the au pair’s job difficult, she knows exactly what to do — bring the issue up with that host parent, and come to a resolution. But what if the person causing the problems isn’t the host parent, but the host parent’s “friend”? The au […]

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Au Pair Advice: She’s using *my* coffee mug!

by cv harquail March 17, 2010
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We host parents can be a weird bunch. The kinds of things that drive us crazy… no wonder it can be hard for au pairs to get adjusted! Over the weekend I heard a crazy lament that I want to share with you. My friend has a new au pair, who’s been with them about […]

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Au Pair Community Counselors: Conflicts of interest?

by cv harquail March 13, 2010
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Can the role of the Local Community Counselor (or Area Director), and the compensation strategy for that job, set up an implicit conflict of interest? I think the answer to that question is: Yes. Caveats first: Each agency is different. This concern addresses only those agencies with the structure I describe below. First, let me […]

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