Can this relationship be saved?

How Can We Help Our Grieving Au Pair?

by cv harquail April 18, 2013

About three weeks ago my au pair’s boyfriend (local in the USA) died suddenly in an accident. By way of background, she has been with us since last June and is planning to stay another year.  We have twin boys that are 13 months old.  Both my husband and I work in demanding jobs.  We […]

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First Time Host Mom Overwhelmed by Regret: Can She Fix Her Mistake?

by cv harquail March 29, 2013

  Dear Au Pair Moms — I am a first time Au Pair Host Mom and I am having serious second thoughts about my choice of au pair. I  need some sage advice. Our Au Pair has only been with us a few days but now that she’s here I’m having SO. MANY. REGRETS. It […]

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Au Pairs and Common Sense: Guest Post by TakingAComputerLunch

by TakingAComputerLunch February 27, 2013
Mother Owl, fox, baby shower card, baby shower invitation, adoptive mother card, grandmother, whimsical, blank card

Common sense plays a huge role in how we function as adults, especially those of us with children. As parents, we know a late night out will cause us to pay double in the morning, because the kids’ internal alarm clocks don’t reset just because we’ve had no sleep. We know we need to think […]

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Can This Relationship Be Saved?: Au Pair Seems to be Giving Up

by cv harquail February 11, 2013

Waaa waaa waaa waaa…… Sometimes I hear stories about au pairs and their complaints and I want to say: “Dude, grow UP.” “No one forced you to become an au pair. No one forced you to pick this particular family. No one’s making you do anything out of the ordinary. No one’s skimping on your […]

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Cut Your Losses: When your Au Pair starts lying before she even arrives

by cv harquail February 10, 2013
cut your losses, au pair who lies

Our conversation about “when you discover that your au pair is lying” could go on forever, since there are so many different situations in which a lie can be a problem — or something to gloss over. We lie (parents and au pairs) to save face, to avoid consequences, and sometimes to deliberately deceive someone so that […]

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Despite bad Au Pair performance: “My heart can’t handle the thought of destroying her life by sending her home”

by cv harquail February 3, 2013

AFHost Mom posted this in the comments of a different post, and I’ve moved it here so that it can have its own conversation. Au Pair Moms, I need a reality check. We’ve just extended with our South American AP. She is very loving, very sweet, and loves the kids a lot. Her care has […]

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What To Do When Your Au Pair Doesn’t Bathe

by cv harquail January 20, 2013
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Some issues are just too awkward to talk about. But we have to talk about them anyway, because these are the very issues that keep host parents and au pairs from really connecting. We’ve hit some of these issues already– contraceptives, personal safety, swimming when she has her period (I told you they were awkward!), […]

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Give Your Au Pair The Gift of Travel ~ Ideas from HRHM

by cv harquail December 13, 2012
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Most Au Pairs want the chance to travel during their year with us. “Travel” can mean a lot of things– vacations, long weekends, day trips, and even a quick stop over at something interesting on the way to a regular errand. Host mom and regular contributor HRHM shares these ideas for simple, fun, lower-cost travel […]

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Create and Share Your Au Pair Holiday Gift Ideas

by cv harquail November 26, 2012
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There’s nothing like a well-chosen holiday gift to tell a person “I see you. I understand you. I care about you.” Each year, the Winter holidays give us a chance to let our au pairs know that we appreciate them as a family member, as a valued childcare giver, and as a young adult “on […]

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All Unhappy Au Pair Situations Are Unhappy in Complicated Ways

by cv harquail November 25, 2012
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In the nearly 6 years we’ve been talking together on this blog, we’ve never once had a concern with an au pair that was simple. Never. Not once. The situation is never just “She won’t follow directions”, or “He can’t pass the state driver’s license test”. There’s always some complicated mix of themes, usually involving […]

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