Can this relationship be saved?

When Host Moms Need Support and Not Just Advice

by cv harquail November 23, 2013

AuPairMom gets two kinds of emails– emails asking for advice on how or what to do, and emails asking for support in just dealing with whatever is happening. Interestingly, every email we get is BOTH of those types. Sometimes we know what we need to do. For example, almost every email asking ‘Should we go […]

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Departure Gift Ideas– For Not-So-Great Au Pair

by cv harquail October 15, 2013

“We only have to endure our au pair for 6 more weeks!”, writes a Host mom.” Yes, endure. Very long story, but we have had a mediocre au pair for the past 10 + months. She only wants to party, lies consistently, does not respect curfew, treats our children like potato sacks, and I have […]

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Is it a Personality Thing, or a Training Thing, or Some Other Thing?

by cv harquail October 6, 2013

Even when we don’t have enough information about the ‘real’ problem between a host parent and an au pair, the action steps are the same: 1. Check your expectations, 2. Talk with each other candidly, and 3. Give each other a chance to change. Here’s an email from a host mom having trouble: Dear Au Pair Mom Readers, […]

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How Much Does the Au Pair Agency You Choose Really Matter?

by cv harquail August 21, 2013

Of all the pieces that go into finding, matching and working with an au pair that’s ‘right for you’, the agency you choose is pretty low on the totem pole. I say that having only ever used one agency, so I know I’m not speaking from experience. At least with regard to agencies. Instead, I […]

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Share what you know about Au Pairs and Cross Cultural Communications!

by cv harquail August 7, 2013

Earlier this spring, I was interviewed for a research project on cross cultural challenges with host families and au pairs. The researchers recently wrote to tell me they’ are having a difficult time getting the number of interviewees that they need, and they asked if I could share this request on AuPairMom: “We are two […]

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Gone Fishin’ — Back in mid-August

by cv harquail August 7, 2013

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Too Stern? Or Not Stern Enough? Your Au Pair’s ‘Tone of Voice’ with Kids

by cv harquail August 6, 2013

From Should be working How can I help the AP know – when to be tough, – when to insist, – when to give in, – when to just do it for the kid even though the kid can do it for himself, – when to reach for the ‘strict tone’ and when to leave […]

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How might an Au Pair help a grieving family?

by cv harquail July 17, 2013

Dear Au Pair Moms – I was an AP for 2 years with a family, then came back home. Now, two years later, I will be going back to help the family during a very difficult time. I wanted to go back because my HD got diagnosed with cancer last year, and with the kids’ […]

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Au Pair Asks: How Do I Ask Prospective Host Families About Guns in Their Home?

by cv harquail June 17, 2013

Following on our earlier post about guns in the home, here’s a different take on the issue. An au pair candidate writes to ask– How do I ask possible host families about whether they have weapons in their home? When I replied this au pair’s email, I mentioned to her that she’s the first au […]

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