Can this relationship be saved?

When Au Pairs Plan In Advance Not To Complete Their Year

by cv harquail April 23, 2015

Au Pair contracts, for both the au pair and the family, exist so that both parties are absolutely clear about what they can expect from each other. A Host Family pays an agency fee that they expect to cover 12 month of service. Indeed, knowing that you can amortize the cost of finding and training an […]

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Would You Choose a Former Nanny as an Au Pair?

by cv harquail March 31, 2015

Here’s a rare kind of email– a topic we have never discussed before. I keep thinking there are none of these left, and then >boom< one of them lands in my inbox. I‘m currently working as a nanny. I would really really love to come and do an au pair year in America. I love […]

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Notes on the Blog: Somehow, we broke the Interwebz

by cv harquail March 27, 2015

I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know what fixed it back up to 98% of what it was before, but sorry about this morning’s long, long, long outage. Also, apologies to whomever commented between last night and noon today– your insights were lost in the ‘series of tubes’ that make up the worldwideweb. […]

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Unhappy Au Pairs Can Start “Reset” Conversations Too

by cv harquail March 13, 2015

You don’t have to be a host parent to notice a problem in your Host Family-Au Pair relationship. Obviously, Au Pairs notice problems too. That’s why Au Pairs should try some using some of the very same tools we recommend to host parents, tools like weekly meetings, written schedules, and the always-useful reset conversation. One […]

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When Your Au Pair Complains About A Fair Schedule

by cv harquail March 9, 2015

File this under: “Grrrrrr.” You are a lovely family with an adorable child. You offer a reasonably cushy schedule to your au pair. Most days it’s 2 hours in the morning and 4- 4 1/2 in the afternoon/evening. You go out some weeks nights here and there, to book club or (gasp) to the gym. And […]

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Fun Au Pair Activities for Monthly Cluster Meetings– ideas?

by cv harquail March 8, 2015

Dear AuPairMom and Readers– I enjoy reading the blog and learning from all your advice. I wonder if we could crowd-source some ideas? Our Au Pair Community Counselor is a lovely person, but sometimes she seems a little out of touch with what Au Pairs might think is fun or useful. Our Counselor […]

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Au Pair Declines to Extend, Now Her Host Parents Are Mean

by cv harquail March 6, 2015

When you have an Au Pair you like, the idea of extending for another 6, 9, or 12 months seems so tempting! We can imagine ourselves just gliding into that extra time, relieved of the burden of finding, training, and adapting to a new au pair. So when we ask our Au Pairs to extend— […]

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Open Thread: In like a polar bear…

by cv harquail February 28, 2015

When the temperature on Feb. 27th is 14 degrees, no lions are coming over. Instead, polar bears. Here’s a weekend open thread to help us glide from February to March. Use this thread to bring up anything at all that’s on your Host Parent or Au Pair agenda. Keep in mind that first time commenters […]

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Our Au Pair Was Unhappy. Everyone Knew But Us.

by cv harquail February 21, 2015

Dear Au Pair Mom — I have just discovered that our first au pair, who departed three months ago after a year working and traveling with us, told *everyone* but me that she was unhappy with our family. We though she was the greatest au pair: hard worker, experienced with the kids, wise… She seemed […]

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Au Pair’s Dr. Host Dad insisting she receive Vitamin B shots? No. No. No.

by cv harquail February 19, 2015

This particular pair of host parents wins the prize for “Most Invasive Expectations”. I received an email from an au pair currently working in Europe. She writes: Hi AuPairMom– I don’t know any other au pairs and so I’m hoping to get some advice from you on this difficult situation. I have been living with […]

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