Can this relationship be saved?

Should We Extend? Au Pair is Great, but also Boring

by cv harquail January 20, 2016

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I laughed out loud at the subject line of the email that sent this issue to Au Pair Mom. It’s almost — but not quite– a luxury to imagine being bothered by a “boring” Au Pair, if this Au Pair comes on the heels of a “Flameout”, a “Party Girl”, or a “Couch Potato”. Not […]

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Why Doesn’t the Au Pair Agency Want Us to Help Out Another Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 18, 2016

When Host Families hear about Au Pairs in trouble, we often try to help. Host Families sometimes get some early, insider information about Au Pair – Host Family relationships that are deteriorating. When the Au Pair in question looks like s/he’s getting a raw deal, it can be tempting to offer to step in and help. […]

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Making New Year’s Resolutions WITH Your Au Pair

by cv harquail January 4, 2016

Number 5 on the short list of stupid, true things about life that I try not to let annoy me is this: It’s hard to change things* when people around you resist having you change. *”things” being: yourself, your situation, how you do things, what gets done, what is prioritized, etc. We forget that our lives are so […]

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How To Evaluate An Infant-Qualified Au Pair Candidate

by cv harquail December 27, 2015

For many of us Host Moms and Dads, our first Au Pair arrives shortly after our first baby. Twice in one season you become a new parent– first of your own baby, and then of your Au Pair. I look back on those times now and think how absolutely naive I was about both new […]

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Letting Things Go Over The Holidays

by cv harquail December 26, 2015

Some of the glitter garland I made for our tree.

My inbox barrages me with contradictory messages. I’ve gotten a slew of emails trying to inspire me to up my game for the New Year. They want to help me with making resolutions, finding my words of the year, buying a new planner, setting an editorial calendar, changing my relationship with food, finding my inner courage, and […]

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Don’t Be Afraid To Rematch If Your Au Pair Can’t Drive

by cv harquail December 11, 2015

I truly appreciate Host Parents who are reluctant to rematch when their Au Pair isn’t “perfect”. I appreciate Host Parents who are willing to “work it out”, who are willing to reset their expectations, and who are willing to celebrate what an Au Pair *has* rather than worry about what an Au Pair is […]

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Au Pair DUI: Rematch or not?

by cv harquail November 30, 2015

The answer to this one is pretty clear to me, even though I’m not the host parent who’d have to find and train a new au pair right in time for the Holidays: Writes HostMomWithCarTrouble: Would you rematch if your Au Pair got a DUI? It was our car. The kids were not in the […]

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Au Pair with Eating Disorder – Should She Leave Early?

by cv harquail November 14, 2015

We’re a little sensitive here at AuPairMom about the subject of eating disorders among young women. Some of us Moms have struggled with them, and some of us have children who have had or are currently working through eating disorders. So, as we go forward with this conversation, please be especially thoughtful. A brand new […]

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Water-Conserving Host Parents Challenge Au Pair Cleanliness Preferences

by cv harquail November 11, 2015

My host parents are very, very concerned about conserving water. We live in a part of the US (not California) where there has been a normal amount of rainfall– so a lack of actual water is not the reason. In the house, the bathroom sinks have no hot water. I have to wash my hands […]

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Layers of Au Pair Problems…Leading to Rematch?

by cv harquail November 9, 2015

This Host Mom’s got it all falling apart. Little seems to be going as expected. When this Host Mom emailed, I’d suggested to her that maybe it would be easier if we separated the topics and had one post for #1 and another for #2 & #3– but they feel too connected in the Host Mom’s […]

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