Can this relationship be saved?

Au Pair’s Increasingly Limited Diet is Increasingly Stressing Us

by cv harquail April 12, 2016

Everyone say it together: Rematch. Now. New Host Mom, this au pair is putting you through the wringer over food issues. You should try one more time to set some limits about what food you will and will not provide. You were clear when you were matching, and it’s your au pair who’s changed the […]

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Well That Was Interesting …

by cv harquail April 12, 2016

I leave the country for FOUR WHOLE DAYS and the blog gets hacked ! Grrrrrrr. Thank you, friends, for emailing to let me know. Password changed. I thought I’d have time to put up a post or two but I am stuffing my face with pain au chocolat and explaining to every American tourist I […]

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Addressing a Vast Gap Between Ethical Standards: Yours vs Your Au Pair’s

by cv harquail March 25, 2016

There are “cultural differences” and there are “philosophical differences”. With cultural differences, it’s less about “right” or “wrong” than about how folks prefer to do things. With philosophical differences, it’s all about right and wrong. So how do you manage when you discover that your au pair thinks something is perfectly fair to do, but […]

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Monitoring Your Au Pair’s Driving Using Car Apps and Tools

by cv harquail March 11, 2016

In the new era of the quantified self, we have Fitbits for counting steps, apps for managing nutrition, online calendars to coordinate schedules, and GPS to get us where we need to go. Many of us use these tools not only for our selves, but also to organize our Au Pairs. We also now have […]

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Innocent Au Pair Shunned By Jealous Host Mom

by cv harquail March 5, 2016

Sorry about the headline, but how else to summarize this dilemma, below? Before you jump in with good advice, which you will, let’s remember that we only know one side of this story, and we should proceed with the assumption that it’s accurate. Take it away, team. Dear AuPairMom– Well, I’m a 23 year old […]

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When the Cost of Rematch Seems Too High, but Your Au Pair Isn’t Working Out

by cv harquail March 3, 2016

This brand new host mom, in a country without much of an Au Pairing culture, is trying hard. Despite her efforts, though, the combination of her Au Pair’s inexperience, lack of English skills, lies about driving, and basic attitude (not to mention, cultural differences between them) have led to an untenable situation. Worse still, it […]

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Give As Much As You’ve Gotten Before You Quit Your Au Pair Job

by cv harquail March 1, 2016

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At the mom@aupairmom.com mailbox, I regularly receive emails from Au Pairs who are unhappy and want to leave their positions. Au Pairs present a slate of concerns, each one legitimate in its own right, although some of them are too small, really, to be dealbreakers on their own. These emails usually roam all over the […]

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Partnership Advice for Au Pair Host Parents

by cv harquail February 4, 2016

After our previous post, I went back to an old, old post to clip and repeat these key bits of advice for Host Parent Partners: Host Parent Partners need to confirm, explicitly, how they will work as partners as well as individuals to manage their Au Pair relationship. Nothing about how having an au pair (or […]

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When Having An Au Pair Exposes Cracks in Your Marriage

by cv harquail January 30, 2016

Getting an Au Pair can expose cracks in your marriage that you haven’t seen before. Getting an Au Pair can also force you to pay attention to dynamics that have been there all along but that you and your spouse have “successfully” avoided before. It’s not the Au Pair herself or himself that “causes” the […]

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Single Host Mom with UnAppreciative Au Pair: Can This Relationship Be Saved?

by cv harquail January 23, 2016

Dear Au Pair Mom Readers — I don’t know why I thought I was ready for this!! Friends of my parents have had wonderful experiences with their au pairs and I thought hosting an au pair would allow for my daughter to be at home another year while I returned to school. First, the positive: […]

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