Being generous

Which Au Pair Rules Feel Flexible?

by cv harquail February 4, 2015
breaking au pair rules

This is a companion post to “Which Host Family Rules Feel Flexible to Au Pairs?” Au Pair Program Rules are Great. One of the strongest elements of the US Au Pair Program is the framework created by the State Department rules.   These clear and specific boundaries around work hours and work responsibilities help US Host Parents and […]

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Why You Shouldn’t Round Up Your Au Pair’s Weekly Stipend

by cv harquail January 12, 2015
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What is “One Hundred Ninety-Five Dollars and Seventy Five Cents“? A:  The amount of an Au Pair’s weekly stipend, or B: An awkward, not-round number? Both. Which is why many families ’round up’ from $195.75 and pay their au pairs an even $200 per week. Rounding Up seems to make sense. If you pay your […]

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AuPairMom is thankful for … TaCL

by cv harquail November 25, 2014
thankful owl

We all know her. We all love her. TaCL : the internet-famous TakingAComputerLunch. She’s #1 of 2,200 Over the course of the 6+ years of AuPairMom, around 2,200 different people have contributed to the blog by offering advice in the comments. It’s TaCL’s 5 Year Anniversary on Au Pair Mom, and I think it’s time we […]

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One Slight After Another: Can this au pair relationship be saved?

by cv harquail September 29, 2014
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It’s interesting to get emails from host parents — and au pairs– where it seems that the very act of writing to us is helping them gain some clarity about how untenable their situation actually is. This seems especially true when there isn’t one prominent issue but instead several smaller ones that, when all pulled […]

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Celebrating Your Au Pair By Creating Experiences

by cv harquail February 15, 2014
festival

Often when we want to celebrate a milestone with our au pair, our thoughts turn to gifts of things.   We don’t feel embarrassed turning to gift cards and cash, because we know that our au pairs are often saving money for travel or for some special item at Urban Outfitters.  We tend to recommend […]

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When Your Au Pair’s Parents Come to Visit

by cv harquail January 23, 2014
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Dear AuPair Mom–  We have a lovely, responsible Au Pair whose parents miss her dearly. They have decided to visit twice (twice!) during the year and want to stay with us in order to maximize their time with their daughter.  I’m apprehensive about the whole thing, because hosting parents is not the same as hosting […]

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This Thanksgiving, Teach Your AuPair Real American Values with #GivingTuesday

by cv harquail November 20, 2012
World Homeless Day

Just when we’re trying to celebrate the most welcoming American tradition, and start off the winter holiday with a warm, family gathering, we get Black Friday.  The annual celebration of consumerism and low low prices that results in shoving, pushing, overspending, and spiritual emptiness. Black Friday is American culture at its worst. So you can […]

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3 Tips for Cross-Cultural Conversation

by cv harquail September 30, 2012
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When you and your au pair struggle to communicate — even when you both speak English resonably well– it can be hard to know whether the problem is “attitude” or “comprehension”. We see issue a lot in comments about au pairs who are given lists of tasks but don’t do them, or host parents who […]

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Vacationing at DisneyWorld with your Au Pair in Tow: What’s worked for you?

by cv harquail March 5, 2012
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I have a confession to make. My kids are 11 and 13, and I have never taken them to DisneyWhere. I probably never will. I know, it doesn’t count that I *have* taken them to see WIcked on Broadway– I’m still a bad mom. Worse, I don’t know much about the excitements and demands of […]

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Establishing Expectations when an Au Pair Has Guests

by cv harquail November 30, 2011

There’s something about hosting a friend of relative of your au pair that can mess with the fine balance between “part of the family”&  “childcare provider” and between “host mom” and “house elf/slave”. For lots of us, we forget to check our assumptions about how we should act towards other people’s guests, how much of […]

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