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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I hired a Malaysian au pair who quibbled over money after her first pay packet and then stirred up my second au pair, a Latvian, into running away with her at the first opportunity and the pair left me au pairless.
I have provided an iPhone to my Au Pair with unlimited calls, text (within the U.S.) and data, so that she can communicate with me in case of emergency, have a maps app and get directions, as well as use apps for her personal use.
The problem is that she cannot go 5 minutes without texting. I have a toddler who still puts things in his mouth and have asked my Au Pair to put the phone away when she is out with him, because even a 10-second text is enough for a toddler to grab something off the floor and put it in his mouth, or stick his fingers where he is not supposed to. I think she is doing that when out, she seems responsible. However, at home, there are some child proofed are and – like many tech savvy homes these days – we have cams (in full view, our Au Pair knows we can check remotely) and often see her texting away while our child is walking around looking bored or trying to get her attention.
When feeding him, the Au Pair checks her phone every 3 to 4 minutes. I don’t think she can go 5 minutes without checking her phone. And sometimes she starts texting and gets so absorbed by it, she seems to lose track of time and text away for 20 minutes or so.
While we’re not opposed to her texting, and surfing the web, good judgement should be exerted and she should put the child first all the time. If we wanted our child to roam around and spend a lot of his time doing stuff on his own, we would have put him in daycare where they have less interactions with adults. Quality interactions with adults is what contribute the most to a baby and toddler’s development, hence why we prefer one on one integration until 3 years of age.
Our Au Pair is doing a good job otherwise, so how do we tell her to focus more on the child when he is awake (we’re OK if she wants to text away when he is sleeping), and point out that phone use is a bit excessive when she is caring for our child? We don’t want to sound critical but this excessive phone use is a bad example for our child (we make it a point to put ours away), and is impacting the quality of interaction with our child.