Comments on: You’re right, he’s wrong. This is a problem.

By: beth

beth — Sun, 23 May 2010 15:32:59 +0000

we as aupair some times we stay like small kinds in that we can do some things not to hurt the others ,for example most of the mothers says they dont have time ,no mood and no

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By: aria

aria — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 09:27:45 +0000

No way, let’s be real. My first thought? It’s Jude Law again.

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By: anon

anon — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 20:46:50 +0000

(I haven’t read everything).

This is my opinion– if it makes you feel bad, it’s not okay. It’s not okay for him to decide if it’s appropriate for you to feel something.

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By: former au pair-now Mother

former au pair-now Mother — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:14:18 +0000

Good luck Ronnie. I hope it all works out for you and let us know!

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By: Ronnie

Ronnie — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:05:08 +0000

thanks for your concern. I am at work so he has no access to this computer but I will make sure I remove the link from my personal email to be safe.

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By: au pair in MD

au pair in MD — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:27:01 +0000

I agree too! It is very difficult!

Certainly the au pair should not be comfortable with this situation. And if your husband wants her to feel part of the family he should consider a program with the whole family or leave the kids with a babysitter and leave the three of them (host parents and au pair). Never the au pair herself with the HD! And go to the cinema… Its is a date… awkward!

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By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:04:54 +0000

That is an excellent suggestion. I have experience in this field and certainly hope she sees that and follows it.

By: Anon

Anon — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:49:01 +0000

Hey Ronnie, do me a favor and delete all of the aupairmom.com cookies from your computer at the end of the day, ok? The ‘leave a comment’ section automatically prepopulates with the name you used so anyone that uses your computer will know what you posted if they look in your history and visit this site. The controlling comments concern me. I’m just assuming DH uses the same computer and takes a look at where you go. Unless you are at the library or a safer computer. I hope the ladies on this blog provided some support, but CV, it would be great if you can take down this post for Ronnie’s safety.
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1?800?799?SAFE(7233)

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By: Ronnie

Ronnie — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:31:10 +0000

She is very pretty and no if we had an unattractive au pair I dont think he would have invited her to the movies. thank you for your opinion

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By: Anonymous HM

Anonymous HM — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:29:43 +0000

This does sound like a marital issue first and foremost. Trying to manage a new relationship with a young AP and set appropriate boundaries and expectations in the midst of these marital stressors, your pregnancy, etc., sounds perilous. I would seek counseling–both individual and couple’s– a trained professional will help you prioritize and problem solve. I believe the suggestions regarding speaking candidly with your LCC AND warning your husband that his behavior (even if well intentioned, which unfortunately I doubt as he is openly disrespecting your feelings) would likely appear inappropriate to most, are important steps on your part… But this is still a marital problem, and it does not matter how attractive, young, or otherwise appealing your AP is–it is a symptom of a much larger problem. I truly feel for you as you are in a position where you need to protect yourself, your children, and now your AP, while trying to work on your marriage all at the same time… Make sure you enlist as much support as you possibly can–therapist, church, friends, etc…

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