Add your screen name and a brief description to our new List of Contributors!
After a few instances where really clever screen names (aka Nom de Mom) have been repeated by new commenters to the site, it’s time to create a list of Who’s Hoo here.
(Yes, the HOO is in honor of the Owl).
If you’d like to ‘claim’, log, or note your screen name, you can do this by adding a comment, below. You can also add a few details about who you are. Please enter your email address when you comment, if you’d like me to be able to follow up with you ‘backstage’ at any point. (I’d like to be able to do this, if needed).
New readers and commenters can skim the list and see if the clever name they would like to use is available (or not).
If there are situations where two people are using the same screen name, the person who used it first should keep it, while the new(er) person comes up with another clever name.
If you saw a clever screen name on another site or forum that has not been used already here on AuPairMom, I’d recommend that you *not* use it. The Host Parent community is small enough that “Evil Host Mom” over on “HostParentSanity.com” may well be a reader here. You want to keep your identity ‘unique’ so that folks don’t think that every comment from “Evil Host Mom” is from you….
Let’s see Who’s Hoo!
[ Note: this post has only been up for a few hours, and already it's making me really happy to see names linked with details... and to think about how terrific all of you are as participants in this blog. Feeling kinda lucky. ]
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Okay so I’m gonna do the first entry.
Screenname: EireAuPair
Information: My real name is Isy and I am 20 years. I am an Au Pair in Ireland, thats where my screenname comes from
While in transition, I decided to start blogging for career reasons. I thought, “Hey, I know! I’ll start a blog about being an au pair host mom, that’s something I know about and would suit the blog format perfectly”. But I quickly discovered that Dr. CV was waaaaay ahead of me. She offers such a useful management theory perspective to these conversations that I’m eternally grateful she got here first.
We live in a stereotypical suburb with an insanely achievement-oriented drive–even the other au pairs are “all above average”. Working parents, morning rushes to get Kid the Elder on the school bus, and a big dog.
If you count every last one of them–including the one who lasted less than 2 weeks–we’ve had 5 au pairs and will welcome our 6th this summer. We’ve had 2 au pairs spend almost 2 years with us. We started au pairing when our youngest child was 2.
I’m a selective control freak–I care a lot about high fructose corn syrup, fiber, and how the silverware is loaded in the dishwasher, but not how the laundry is folded. I never post on other au pair blogs.
My name comes from the fact that I live in Pennsylvania and I am the “mom” to an au pair. Wow. very original and creative, huh?
We are on our second, and final (for now), AP. We have had a German princess and a wonderful AP from Sweden who is leaving on August 5th.
I work with caricature, cartoon, illustration, and popular prints (think Currier & Ives and Thomas Kinkade) at a major US institution, where I’ve worked since 1991. “The Camel” was born in 1999 and has 2 life-threatening medical conditions that keep HD and I on our toes. She has severe mental retardation as well. She’s hysterically funny and knows it. Don’t feel sorry for me – I don’t live a bad life with her. She’s brought lots of wonderful people into my life, including the wonderful women who have been my APs. My son was born in 2000 and The Camel’s opposite – he’s exceptionally bright, loves sports, and talks from dawn to night. He’s also a comedian.
I’ve hosted APs since 2001, including the first, who lived with us for 3 1/2 years, while we tried to sponsor her as an employer. I am a left liberal who strongly believes in treating people fairly, but am no pushover.
Ok I have to ask as I have wondered every time I read your posts, why do you call her “the camel”? Really hope that isn’t offensive but every time I read it I wonder so I thought I would just ask
We used to call her Queen of the Geckos when she just stuck out her tongue, but then when she started launching her dinner, we started calling her The Camel. It’s an affectionate term – but one I hope becomes immediately obvious to people that we’re talking about a special child rather than a typical 11-year-old. She is very good at protecting her airway, so when she feels that she might choke (too much food in her mouth, liquid at all), she spits. It means I get down on my hands and knees and wash my hardwood floors a lot. Even so, she’s the best girl ever. And I’ll never have to put up with her emulating Hannah Montana!
1. Live in the land of “what happens here stays here,” but couldn’t be further from that scene. Would like to move, actually.
2. HD and I work at a major university. I’m in I.T. (webby stuff), he’s an academic.
3. Have a son who is under two. Am expecting a girl in Nov.
4. Have had three AP’s in under a year. First one was sent home because she was a pack-a-day smoker (not disclosed on application). Interim AP (three months), was wonderful (she was finishing her second year). Now on third AP.
5. Could not stomach putting infant in daycare, and AP’s have worked out well in that regard.
6. Lefty liberal. Somewhat conflict averse away from the computer. Somewhat a pushover.
I’ve learned *a lot* from AuPairMom. We literally had no LCC for the first 7 months we were with our current agency (brand new LCC quit just before first AP arrived). We were given no tips or instruction, and had no idea about the pitfalls and weaknesses of the AP program. We believed the marketing. Needless to say, we will be switching to a different agency.
Live in NC. Have hosted a “Brazilion” au-pairs over almost exactly 12 years now. (Since 1998) Most of them have been German, in part because of the driving.
Have four children. – Two Girls and Two Boys.
I work full time outside the home as a geek at a large computer corporation. I like to refer to it as the largest computer company you’ve never heard of. And… As you can see below.. I post a _lot_
Hmmm….I want to tell you all about myself, but I know my AP reads this blog and I like to maintain my anonymity. I sometimes change inconsequential details in my post (I think I have referred to my child as both a little boy and a little girl at times) to throw her off track. I have no idea if that is working.
I started with APs when my babe was 2 months old. We had a good year 1, and we are have a good year with AP2.
I work outside the home, but not a full 40 hr/week. Our AP is not a necessity, but a luxury (we could make daycare work for us at a lower cost, but AP works so much better).
With you on the necessity vs. luxury point. Daycare would be a lot less expensive for us as well.
Host mom in California with (no surprise given screen name) two boys and two girls under the age of eight. Read this site faithfully but have only posted once before…I tend to get on here late in the evening and by then the advice is always so thorough and helpful I feel I have little to add (or the stories/experiences so outrageous that mine seem tame in comparison!) Have hosted 5 au pairs, all from Germany, with only one disaster. Now on our first extension with an incredible au pair.
I also want to remain anonymous so I will leave my agency, where I live, and the nationality of my au pairs as a mystery. I have had a bunch of au pairs (more than 5, but less than DarthaStewart). I consider myself a seasoned HM who still has lots to learn about hosting an AP, and I love this blog. Overall, I have had really good experiences hosting APs, but I think some of the points of pain and agony I have felt over the years could have been avoided or at least lessened if I had the benefit back then of reading all the great advice of cv and all you awesome HMs out there!
I’m with Dorsi and Host Mommy Dearest on the anonymity. (I thought I was the only person who changed the facts sometimes, because I love a good mystery!)
We started with APs when our youngest was a baby, and may continue for a couple more years, although the thought of ending on a positive note (we have our best-ever, most fantastic AP right now!) does hold some sway. Ours, too, is a bit of a luxury, as I don’t work fulltime outside the home, although I plan to go back at some point, if I can find a job in my profession. Even though we live in a huge right-wing political area (thank goodness it’s not Arizona!) I’m a liberal, which I think is one of the reasons I’m open to learning about other cultures and languages.
I tried to be clever in choosing my name, which obviously was done at about the time of Meryl Streep’s great performance in that movie with the ABBA songs!
I was an AuPair summer ’08 – summer ’09. First in the NYC area (first AuPair – din’t really work out that well) and later in the Seattle area (wonderful HF w/ 2 adorable kids).
Started reading this blog about half way into my year and totally love it!!
Hiya hiya! My name is, as my clever moniker disguises, Aria, and I’m an 18 year old American au pair living in Paris, France. I graduated high school when I was 16, did a study abroad program, lived with a host family for a year (not as an AP) and then decided I wanted to stay in Paris, so I decided to try the AP program. I’ve been with 2 families; one was a disaster, and my current one is good, as much as I complain sometimes. I found this blog before matching with my 1st HF, but I didn’t really get into until I started with my 2nd, and I’m now *addicted.* My daily computer check is this- email, facebook, and AuPairMom!!
i was an au pair back when emails were a new thing and transatlantic phone calls still cost a little fortune. i switched families once and still am in very good touch with that second host family.
my AP year was a wonderful opportunity and life lesson for me and i hope that some of my advice on here helps others.
I’m an ex au pair from Brazil. I lived in Washington DC during my AP year.
I love AP Mom, it was very useful when I was an au pair, and I kept on reading it becauce I really like AP Mom and the other contributors!
I am a high school teacher, and I have two little girls, 3 and 2. We are on our first aupair, hence my moniker. We belong to a very strict and conservative Christian sect, and therefore our lives are a bit different than most. Our aupair is lovely girl from Europe, and has been with us six months. I enjoy reading all the different posts, and have learned quite a bit! Thanks!
I am a host mom in NY (also a clever disguise). However it is central New York State- NOT NYC. I spend a lot of time in matching explaining our small city and lack of proximity to NYC. I am a physician and my husband is an executive. We have three children (all in elementary school) and have been a host family since 2008. We like having an aupair for many reasons and will be welcoming our fourth aupair in July. We host German aupairs because we want the kids to learn some German and because they seem to drive really well. Germans tend to be sticklers when it comes to details, which is a nice addition to our chaotic home! Aupairmom.com has been helpful to me on many issues. It’s helpful to know that we are not navigating this sea alone!
I am a work from home mom with 2 boys and one girl living in “sin city”. Have had 2 au pairs, one a “princess” from Colombia and the other a wonderful au pair from Sweden. Would adopt her if I could. Currently have a nanny through a wonderful service here in town. Really love the convenience of having the “live in” but love the privacy of having a “non live in” as the LCC’s in this area aren’t worth a damn and got tired of the run around with the various agencies. May still consider another au pair at some point in time but really love the nanny we found. LOVE this site as it really does pertain to both nannies and au pairs.
yay! another person from NV.
Az is an old nickname, not my real name, and I’m a soon-to-be university student (studying languages.) I’m 18 and from the UK, and was an au pair in Germany in late 2009/early 2010 while on my gap year. It didn’t work out, for various reasons, but I would consider trying again in a different country during my university summer vacations. I would also consider hosting au pairs in the future, if I ever have children — if being an au pair taught me anything, it’s that I could never be a SAHM! (Is that a terrible thing?
)
I’ve been reading this site since last September, when I first started thinking about au pairing, and it’s been useful in many ways… teaching me what to expect before I started, giving me new things to think about if I match with another family in the future (I now have a totally different idea on what I want in a family!) and most importantly giving me the host family’s perspective on situations. Even though I don’t always comment, it’s one of my most-visited sites!
oh no, it’s not a bad thing! i feel the same way! i guess we learned a valuable lesson as APs
Something I really learned from my AP year was that I don’t want any children the next 9-11 years… (I’m 21)
I don’t think it’s a bad thing- it’s better than becoming a parent without having a clue about children and all.
Hey, Momabear here, I have two bear cubs, Baby Bear and Babycakes. I work full time outside of the home and I’ve had 2 AP’s so far. I hope to be hosting for many years to come but am not too sure if I would be saying this if I had not found this site.
Love the humour, candour and honesty that’s present mixed with sound support. Sometimes you need to hear from another who is sharing similar experiences as you (AP’s & HF’s alike) even if they don’t agree with your viewpoint.
At the beginning I used my first name, because I was all sunshine and roses and had nothing to hide. Then when I decided on this moniker as a disguise the first time I had to write about something anonymously. Perhaps now would be the time to change it to something creative, uh, but that would take some energy I don’t have.
Anyway, I live in the Pacific Northwest, have my first Au Pair, who leaves shortly. I have 3 kids ranging in age from 6months to 6 years. I’m still breastfeeding and pumping and a really involved mom who also works a million hours a week. We’ve tried every form of childcare, and since this year has gone so great, we are welcoming a new AP in a few months. So far, both from Germany.
This site has been so valuable to me and my sanity. Even when the situations or problems are ones that I can’t personally relate to (yet), it is a reminder of how much tougher it could be and it encourages me to be grateful for the problems I do not have, rather than those that I do. I know NO real life people who have or have had an AP. My friends act like it’s some form of hoitey-toitey childcare, (i.e. “oooooo, a live in European Nanny, must be nice”, it is nice, very nice, an emotional investment that also a lot of work and energy and the least expensive form of childcare for 3 little ones, it’s nice in ways they aren’t imagining). So here everyone knows what’s nice about it and whats hard about it. From the first question I asked, I got so much advice from caring, educated, and articulate women. I love the responsiveness and support here.
Thanks ladies, thanks CV!
I can appreciate the lack of understanding of other ‘friends’ who think we are uppity with an au pair!!! if only they knew the amount of energy expended!! That is why I think I am done after this AP, I feel like I don’t have the energy left to initiate a new AP and worry about her social life, our car, etc!!! Although I have to say we have been very fortunate with some amazing young women- now extended family!
I’m both a host mom and also the LCC for my area of Colorado. Currently in Year 2 with an incredible AP, getting ready to welcome our next one from France in August. Three kids – ages 11, 10 and 3.
Hello everyone,
I’m a California host mom of two boys. HD and I both work in technology, in demanding full time jobs.
We sent our first (disaster) AP home early, but – hope springs eternal – will welcome our second in a few short weeks. I’ve been reading this blog for more than a year, but didn’t become an active participant until the last few months, when things started to go south with our first AP. Then, and now, the support and advice here has been invaluable.
I am now addicted to this blog, and the wise and witty women who participate here. I check it more times each day than is healthy.
I am theGermanGirl – if I ever get a match the “Future AP” will be replaced with the city I’ll be based in, e.g. “theGermanGirl-XY-AP”
I am quirky, funny, outgoing and I’m really exited to be an au pair in America, I always strive to be the best person I can be and I love learning new things every day.
I love this blog because it helps me to be just that; to get an insight of what host-parents expect and to see what exactly makes a good au-pair and how I can improve personally.
Hey,
I use the same name on all the posting boards i post on, which lately is just here and my company community board.
I’m an au pair and i’m a repeater. I came over the first time as a shy unassertive 18 year old and had 2 families, one really awesome one that i still keep in contact with, and one not so great one that taught me a lot in a not so great way
Right now i’m with a wonderful family near Seattle looking after 2 gorgeous toddlers and an extremely lovable canine 3rd child
Hey! Though my screen name is Sota Gal, I no longer live in any of the ‘Sotas….not Sarasota, Minnesota nor am I a member of SOTA. I grew up in Minnesota, moved to the east coast in 99 and settled in Austin in 04. I have fully lost my Fargo-esqe accent, except for when I say Minnesota (say it like they do in the movie Fargo – c’mon I know you are saying it in your head now!) so Sota Gal I will forever be.
I have 3 kids, an 8 year old, 3 1/2 year old twins and a dog. Don’t have a real job aside from being a mom but I still manage to keep busy. Help DH with his business, volunteer a ton at our elementary school and for a local dog rescue organization, shuttle kids to various activities, etc. Having an AP has been a luxury for us to a certain degree though its been a lifesaver when DH travels and when our twins were younger. We usually divide and conquer with the kids so that one has the twins and the other has the oldest and our AP’s usually don’t end up working more than 35 hours in any given week.
We have hosted 5 AP’s since we started in December of 2007 and we are taking a little break for now. Once we get through summer I’m sure we’ll be hosting another AP. Our first was wonderful and we’ve had a series of fiascos since then with flashes of greatness.
I have learned so much from this site and I really do feel that it’s helped me become a better host mom and I love to contribute when I can.
I’m a HM in the DC Metro area, on our 2nd AP. Unfortunately, the first one provided us with more than a little “life experience” in being HPs. Luckily, we were blessed in the rematch and that AP is currently extending with us. I just had our 2nd child, which is why I was away from the board for a few months (she was not a happy baby, but we may have now figured it out: milk protein allergy!). More than happy to be back (and happy to get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, usually), as I missed you all and the great chatter and information. Been following the board for about a year (or has it been longer?), and really love the great tips I have gleened from other HPs. I have also found the AP point of view rather interesting sometimes. Oh, and DH and I have jobs with funky schedules, so I might be AWOL for a day or two, but I always come back and catch up!
I am a mom of male au pairs. I had one female au pair and that was a totally diaster so no more for me. I am a mom of three: a 6 year old boy, 5 year old boy, and 4 year old girl. Yeah I know oldest is adopted and yeah I’m one of those stories once you adopt you are finally able to have your own. All my au pairs even the not so good one keep in contact with us our last one lives nearby and is now Uncle. Our current one is the best so far. and Our 5th and 4th male au pair arrives in Janurary. I know a lot about male au pairs so just ask if you have questions plus I am a big advocate for the ones I found on the boards and give them hope that yes they will get picked and cheer with them when they finally get match. I know so great male au pairs looking for families sadly many of been waiting months to find a match.
I live in WA state
Wow! That is cool. I think you will love it. Please keep us updated on how it goes. Of course there is always personality mix but I have a feeling a little/lot less drama!!!! I’m prejudice about it all. They will bring different talents and fill out your needs. Male au pairs are different to host in some many ways bad and good. I’m excited for you. You are brave in so many levels. Wish I could meet you in real life.
I do not contribute a lot (mainly because I usually feel like everything I would like to say has been said in a previous comment), but I am a daily reader and LOVE this website!
I don’t want to give too much detail because I’d like to maintain my anonymity (who knows if my former host families are on this site, too), just this much: I am a former au pair from Europe and lived in three different families during my year in the States. Most of the year I spent in NC, that’s where my screen name comes from. Due to the rematches, my year wasn’t easy, but the hard times taught me a lot and I enjoyed the good times with my third family. In my third family I took care of three kids (a toddler, a first grader and a preteen).
I live in the Boston suburbs, 4th au pair joining us in September. DH and I both work demanding jobs, I work more standard hours but make up for it after the kids go to bed. I have the luxury of working from home, so in home childcare has been so great. I get to see my kids a lot. We’ve had nannies, I much prefer the au pair experience even with the good,the bad and the ugly.
We have 2 boys with (5,3) as well #3 on the way(Feb 2011), which gave me a huge scare that I’d have to break the match with incoming AP due to the lack of infant qualification. Turns out she had tons of experience, so we are all set now, what a relief!
I live in Pennsylvania on a farm but about 1 mile from the border with Suburban America and 10 minutes away from more shopping malls than I can count. I have 2 young boys and 3 step-children who are college-age and beyond which makes our house full to overflowing during the holidays. I have hosted 6 au pair’s over 6 years. DH and I both work for our family business.
I really enjoy this blog because CV does a good job posting thoughtful issues and the responses are always so great.
Hi everyone! I am an LCC in San Diego and love reading au pair mom! It has really helped me gain further insight into my job as an LCC. I also run a website for aupairs who are in transition named http://www.incountryaupair.com. The main reason for this site is to keep the good au pairs here.
Hi! I think this website is great! is it only for cultural care APs?…I just signed in, but I’m not sure what I need to do next…THANKS!
Hi Ext. AP-
This blog is mostly for host parents but also APs participate. It’s for host families and APs in the USA, from any agency. We also have folks from outside the US contribute ideas and topics too. Cultural Care has a nice online site for its own community, so if you are with Cultural Care you should check it out. Keep participating here too! cv
I think Ext. AP’s question was about the site Karin Six mentioned
Hello,
I’m a former aupair from Brasil, with a wonderful story. I came to US in 2006 to be an aupair for an Army Colonel while his wife, was deployed in Iraq for 15 months. It was the most amazing experience I had in my whole entire life. I learned how to love two amazing girls, be a mom for 15 months, being awake when they had a fervor, give them love when their missed the real mom, cry on the phone when the mom called me just to check out her kids, and have the little ones refusing to talk to her because they didn’t remember her.
Anyways, mom came back safe and sound, I had to say good bye to the little ones. Oh.. Did I mentioned that they become my extensive family??? Well, I guess kids now have 2 moms, and we are all happy. I decided to stay, just finished my Masters Degree in Business, got married, and now I’m the one looking forward to have an aupair
CV – great idea! I post here regularly and have enjoyed meeting everyone. I have hosted 16 au pairs (does that make me the “grandma”?) and without sounding too schmaltzy, I really do believe that our lives would not have been the same without the influence of these wonderful girls (….still working on my husband on getting a male au pair….). I promise I will write a guest post on how we got to 16 au pairs, but suffice it to say that we overshot the mark on kid #2 and got #2,#3 and #4 all at once (yup, I had a litter) – so with four babes under the age of 2, we hired two au pairs at the same time until they all went to school. We have traveled the world with our many au pairs, and hope to go to many weddings. I’m also an LCC for Cultural Care (I’ve been a host mom with several difference agencies), and particularly enjoy the matching process – “finding the right fit for families” as I think that’s the most important part in the whole process. My website is: http://www.dschwarz.aupairnews.com, but I’m “ruminating” on a blog which I promise myself that I’ll get up and running this summer.
Forgot to mention – I live in Marin County, CA (across the bridge from the Golden Gate Bridge) – but yearn to move to the Southeast where life is a bit slower paced and less expensive (and you can actually swim in the ocean!). I grew up in rural Eastern PA, went to college in NC (go Demon Deacons!) grad school in Georgia – and have lived in Minneapolis, San Francisco, Australia, Scotland (hubby is from there), England, Boston – but keep coming back to Mill Valley, CA. Our kids are 11 (girl who looks and acts more like a teenager), and the triplets (b,g,g) are 9. I’ve worked in market research, advertising, branding, real estate – and now thinking about going back to market research.
Hi everyone- I live in Midcoast Maine with my husband, 2 children ( 3 and 6), dog, 2 cats and our au pair from Germany. I stumbled upon this blog last summer in the midst of our 1st au pair from Finland who was escorted home because she had a nervous breakdown. We have our 2nd au pair with us now from Germany who will be leaving us in a month and then we will get a new German au pair. I travel for work ( I work for a publisher and sell textbooks to college professors) and my husband has his own business and the flexibility of having an au pair has really worked for us. Thanks for this blog as it keeps me sane.
Now THAT sounds like an interesting story!! Nervous breakdown??
Hi everyone,
.
I was an au pair in 2009/2010 in Switzerland. I married my boyfriend that I met while in Switzerland and now live with him in Switzerland. I’ve been a full time nanny for the past year but will have my last day as a nanny in 2 months. My husband and I are moving and we’ve decided my main priority needs to be intensive French lessons so that I can finally use my degree
The family I was an au pair wasn’t the greatest, they had some positives though. I used to nanny a toddler that I was very attached to, but had to quit to circumstances beyond my control. I still miss the baby a lot and think about him. The family I work for now is 2 young girls.They’re very good girls and a lot of fun. I’m sad to be leaving their family, as they’re great but that’s life.
Anyway, I love hearing all the stories of the parents here. Especially the stories that come from moms that seem like they treat their au pairs great! I wish I would have had an better experience as an au pair from a family that cared.
Hi!
I’m Natt, and live in Australia with 2 gorgeous daughters (nearly 5 & 2), a husband, and an aupair (currently one from Sweden). We’re about to embark on aupair #6 next month! I work as a nurse, and my husband runs his own business. We’ve had some ‘interesting’ experiences as a host family
Wow, Australia! Never heard of anyone being an au pair there.
Is there an official au pair program in Australia?
I got an email from the home office in Sydney saying that CC were going to have an Australia inbound program with German and Swedish au pairs. Sounds like they’re still in the planning phase though so not sure how long it’ll be until that happens.
Aupaircare has a programm in australia I think. – At least you can apply for that programm with the German Organization Ayusa
Hi Amelie
Having an aupair isn’t that common in Australia but they do exist! There is no set government program for aupairs, but there are some agencies which charge a fortune to help families find an aupair! I chose to not use an agency because there is nothing they can do for me that I couldn’t do myself (eg: criminal record checks, reference checks). We use aupairworld.net to find our aupairs, and the one absolute disaster aupair we had was found elsewhere
I don’t use this name on other boards I post on, but I post here pretty often. So, I want to lay claim to this name, even though it is very common one (there was an Anna au pair posting here too)
I am overdue with my third child right now (and miserable). I am a working mom to two kids – a 6 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. I work full time and I am a scientist/engineer. We’ve hosted au pairs since my son was 10 months old (after trying everything, from daycares – institutional and home-based, and a string of mostly disaster nannies), so we just started our 4th year in May. The second year of hosting was a disaster, with two rematches. But I feel I have learned a lot and mainly, learned to pick a winner every time. Last year we had a great au pair and this year’s au pair is looking even better.
I have tried two agencies, two years with the first one, one year with the second, now back to the first one. I feel like I learned a lot about the agencies and different matching processes too…
Most of our au pairs have been Brazilian. Four Brazilians (three stellar women, one good girl but who couldn’t do the job properly and ended up in a rematch), and one Russian who has been a true disaster all 8 months she has been with us…
Both me and my husband grew up in different countries (different from US and different from each other), so I feel like I really know what these girls go through when they come here and I feel very proud being able to become a part of their life-changing year here.
We are also orthodox Jewish and our household has some specific rules that an au pair has to be able to live with (mostly regarding the diet and the kitchen). We don’t specifically look for Jewish au pairs – we look for tolerant girls who are not antisemitic and do believe in G-d, so that they can respect our beliefs. I find that Brazilians usually fit that mold.
Ok, now I’ve given myself completely away, I am sure anyone who knows me will recognize me reading this.
I also am a prolific referrer to the au pair program. Last year (with the second agency) I earned a good chunk of money in successful referral fees. After my first year with the program, which was great, both my sister and best friend switched to au pair childcare for their kids. Now – as a bonus – I feel guilty every time something goes wrong with their au pair experience, LOL
I’ve been an au pair in the US for one year. Now I’m back home and studying.
My au pair experience was interesting and it really influenced my life, more than any other of the 21 years I’m alive.
So I once saw the link to this blog and thought why not looking at the Host Parent view for a change?!
It’s always interesting what you guys comment here- even though I sometimes have the complete opposite view.
I hope you like some comments from another angle
I like this site so much that I’m still visiting, even though we don’t have an aupair at this time! I am a single, adoptive mom. I chose to host our first aupair when my oldest daughter was going to attend K and would only be at school for part of the day. She was still going for occupational therapy and speech therapy, at that time. We were blessed with an incredible aupair who quickly became part of our family. She returned to her home country at the end of her year with us, applied for a visa to be a student in the US., and lived with us for two more years. My daughter was in school full-time, and I didn’t need an aupair at that time. I adopted my younger daughter several months before our previous aupair returned to her country to complete her education. When I returned after my second adoption, my younger daughter went into a small home daycare situation. I was glad that my younger daughter had a little time to get to know Ms. Johanna, as she is important to us. We’ll travel to Germany in the future to visit her. My younger daughter was almost three when she came to the US and had a very tough time adjusting. I quickly knew she couldn’t be in a traditional daycare setting, and made plans for bringing another aupair to our family. My daughter has had seven surgeries in the past four years. We’ve also had a speech therapist come to our home weekly, and an attachment therapist, too. After our dream situation, I had two aupairs that were removed from the program and told to return to their home countries. I feel that I would have dealt with those situations much faster, if I’d had the support of this group. I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve learned from those mistakes, and been determined to learn from those who have experience and wisdom to share. After our two tough situations, we had two wonderful aupairs, both from China. My daughters were born in China, and I’m so happy that we’ve developed friendships with young women from their birth countries.
I am an ESL teacher, and I think that this has helped me to deal with some of the cultural issues, and to be an advocate for our aupairs as they’ve pursued their education. I’ve also had fun helping our aupairs and their friends with English!
I think that the international travel that I’ve done has also helped me understand the absolute shock people can experience in a new land…I spent three summers in Russia, without speaking the language…oh, my! I’ve traveled in Europe, and Asia, to adopt my daughters. I spent time in Israel and Egypt. These experiences have led me to the belief that I need to help our new aupairs get settled before I can hope that they can focus on my children. I give priority to getting them state IDs, bank accounts, library cards, etc., college enrollment, etc. I try to drive consistent routes in the early weeks with our aupairs, so that they get some understanding of where they are located and are not feeling that they’re in a constant state of confusion.
I send very detailed letters of introduction. I read samples people wrote that were half a page long and thought, “Is that all????” My letters of intro were between 14 and 17 pages long. You think you might want to come live with MY family? Let me tell you ALL about us, the good and the not so hot. I also send a copy of our family book, via e-mail, so that our aupairs have every opportunity to know how we live together. Yes, those darned family books take a long time to put together, but I thought if I ever got run over by a semi, my sister could walk in and know everything she needed to know about our routines!!! Also, I got the flu the morning after picking up our fourth aupair, and that family book helped a whole lot during the two days I was hiding from my family. I knew we had a keeper when our aupair just took over, day #1, and kept my kids away from me until I was better.
I have always loved the opportunities to learn from people from different parts of the world. My philosophy has been that we don’t begin to examine our own culture until we’re rubbing bellies with another culture. Hosting aupairs has been an experience of rubbing bellies with another culture. I’ve been fortunate that our aupairs have been willing to have great conversations where we can learn ways that our countries are similar and different. I had the most fascinating conversation with our aupair, Dikun, about crime and punishment. I also learned from her that seeing cemetery’s so close to residential areas in the US is very different than what would happen in China. Dikun told me that people would be too afraid of the ghosts to live close to a cemetery. April, our most recent aupair, has the most wonderful laugh, and we had so many happy times together. She also taught us how to make Chinese dumplings. My younger daughter calls them “dump-a-lings”. I haven’t been brave enough to make them since she left, though!!!
For families that truly want to give their time to a young woman, support her dreams, and be there to guide her when her parents are not nearby, I can’t imagine a more wonderful opportunity for everyone: families that need childcare, children who can make friends with people from different parts of the world, and young women who are pursuing one of their dreams. I guess that is the reason that I still show up here, even though we are not hosting an aupair at this time. When I was starting our experience, I didn’t have this site to connect with others. I didn’t have friends that had hosted aupairs. I was learning, but on my own. I know the value of the information that is shared here. So, I’ll stop by now and again.
Hi Jeana!
Nice to hear from you again, Jeana. I really appreciate your sharing this important reminder, as I get ready to welcome our next au pair:
“These experiences have led me to the belief that I need to help our new aupairs get settled before I can hope that they can focus on my children. I give priority to getting them state IDs, bank accounts, library cards, etc., college enrollment, etc. I try to drive consistent routes in the early weeks with our aupairs, so that they get some understanding of where they are located and are not feeling that they’re in a constant state of confusion.
Euromom here, and as the name suggests, I’m in Europe so some of the rules I follow are different to those follwed in the US.
I have two children, one teenager and a toddler. I work work full time (outside of the home) and my hours are long, long, long! (HD’s hours are much better so AP’s hours are not too bad!) but I really need the flexibilty an AP offers.
We’re quite a young family so I relate quite easily to mosts APs and in general when it comes to posting I like to play devils advocate just to try to see things from the other side of the fence.
I recently did a guest post “Read My Diary” which will give you a glimpse of who I am as a person and if there were three words I would use to describe myself they would be: fiery, fun & fair.
I’ll keep the details to myself, for the purposes of anonymity as well, but I’ve got 2 school-aged kids and am on my second au pair after a rematch earlier this year. I have learned SO MUCH about hosting au pairs from this site and my own experience, and I really appreciate some of the comments and advice.
I feel like we have had more than our share of drama in less-than-one-year of hosting, having been through issues (not necessarily in this order) of au pair depression, pregnancy scare, sleazy dressing, driving rules being broken, a smoker passing herself off as a non-smoker, rematch, au pair favoring one child over another, and–everyone’s favorite–our au pair coming home at 6:55am in club clothes and smeared makeup, and from there going directly to making breakfasts and lunches for kids.
On the other hand, it’s been fun and the kids like the au pairs, and it is a great and flexible form of childcare. HD and I are not sure we’ll host again, but I LOVE the blog and check it way too often, especially when I SHOULD BE WORKING.
I’m an Texan working as an aupair in Germany currently. You could probably already call me an expatriate, as I never plan to leave. I have a bachelors in Material Engineering and will start my Masters soon here in Germany. I honestly became an aupair to better my German(otherwise I couldn’t start studying here) but have gotten a lot out of my experience, mostly in regards to child raising knowledge. Unfortunately in hindsight though(I’m almost done with my year), if I had to do it again, I am not sure I would want to do it again. I very much enjoy my family, but it has been very stressful at times. Mostly because you live where you work but still don’t get much of a say in how the living situation is run. I have a lot of work experience and have lived on my own for quite a while and maybe because of that I very much miss the division of work and private life.
Anyway, I really like this site and contribute when I can but next year will probably be too busy for me to take part. I wish everyone the best of luck in their aupair endeavors.
I am a crazy host mom of 6 au pairs. On 7th year (or something like that- had old au pair return for a bit). Both my husband and I work outside the home full time, but he has a lengthy commute. I work as an attorney somewhere on Long Island- (about 60 miles or so off New York City). But since I work for the government, you’re all on a need to know basis.
Anyway, we have 3 children and I truly have enjoyed the au pair program. I have referred many people to it, and have assisted numerous au pairs with sticky situations. Our home is always a welcoming one, and other au pairs have confided in me and sought help- now whether they followed that advice, that’s another story entirely! When we first went the au pair route, it was after having 2 in daycare and paying the equivalent of a mortgage for daycare- wish I knew more about the au pair program sooner than I did.
All of our prior au pairs except for one, have returned numerous times to visit. I tell them our door is always open, as they are part of our extended family now. We have hosted some of their family members, as well, and that has also been enjoyable.
Now, for the scary times ahead, we are considering moving onward away from the au pair program since our children are all school age. We will see if we have any luck this september in finding a suitable afterschool babysitter/taxi driver replacement. (OK- we did try that last, year, too- but ended up with another au pair! this time I’m really going to try and look!)
Love this site. I miss the old au pairs/nannies board that ivillage used to host, as I was an active participant there. So, I am very happy to be here for the candid advice, and opinions! ONly those in the au pair program can truly inderstand all the nuances invloved!
Oooh, same boat here. Both children finally in fullday school and I can’t justify the expense anymore. I’m a bit nervous about it as it really has been a godsend.
We are also moving on from the AP program when our year ends in August. I am sad about leaving, but that’s the way it is. Both our boys are in school full-time and I can’t justify the expense for 25 hours/week.
My kids are school-age, but I figured that AP care is not as much of a sheer luxury as it looks when I consider that afterschool care would be $18/hr (multiplied by 10 hrs/wk), plus weekend/evening babysitting ($20 x 5 hrs/wk). And then for the cost of the AP I also get the bit of household help (not as much as I’d hope), plus sick-child care, and flexibility.
Agree with Should be working … we started the AP program when both kids became school age(d)! Our schools start so late (9:05) that we’d either have to have them in both pre and after school care and when would their activities get done (e.g. piano, sports, allergy shots). I trust that now that they are older that they can communicate better with the younger/inexperienced girls. I do wonder what to do once they get to that early-teen age though …
Our after school care will be $240/week for both. Much less than what we pay for AP, room and board, car and car insurance. Add tuition and gas and it’s not even close.
I keep trying to find ways to justify it, but I just can’t.
Yup- there is the expense of aftercare- that is proibitive for three kids, but we need someone to taxi them to their activities. Perhaps we need a new topic for a board— pros and cons of moving on without an AP!!!
It is a scary thought, as my job is quite demanding, I have told my husband that he has to step up to the plate if the kids are sick- he will have to be the one to call in sick! The summer is another issue- but I can always have an old au pair come back for the summer without the expense of agency fees.
And, just when I thought we would not have expense of 3rd car, it cost us $1200 this month to fix- need it to last the summer, so now after paying to fix it we will have that expense anyway!
I take that since you won’t be using an agency that your aupair would be coming here on a tourist visa and working, illegally? And not paying taxes, either? Awesome.
Perhaps her previous AP will be coming back LEGALLY to be a guest in her home for 10 weeks and to help her out in exchange for a plane ticket, the opportunity to have a place to stay for free (board included) in the US, a car to drive, some independece from living with her parents back home, a chance to practice her English, and a chance to visit friends. Sometimes there is a quid-pro-quo which is legal and mutually beneficial.
I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of five. I am looking forward to hosting our first Au Pair from eastern Europe in August. Kiddos are 11, 11, 8, 4 and 8 months. We pre-matched with the sister of an acquaintance whom I met briefly several years ago.
I really enjoy reading about everyone’s experiences, especially as I prepare my home, my family and myself (!) for a new addition to the household. I’m particularly interested in reading about the experiences of other SAHMoms and how they manage their time and their au pair’s responsibilities.
This is a great resource–nice to “meet” you all!
I too am a SAHM for the most part. I help my husband with his business from time to time and I volunteer at our elementary and a local animal rescue. I don’t homeschool but have had 2 1/2 years with au pairs while I work minimally. When all 3 kids are home we will often divide up the kids – 3 1/2 year old twins and an 8 year old. One will take the oldest while the other takes the twins but when I am busy our AP will care for all three. I use google calendar to manage our schedules, school, activities, appointments and special dates. After I have made the weekly schedule we will sit down together and look at the calendar and choose who does what when we can. For example, I love to watch our sons activities so I’ll usually take him to train while our AP enjoys picking up our girls from preschool and going to the bus stop on school days. She’ll make trips to pick up groceries to get us through the week (which I despise) and I’ll happily do laundry.
When our AP is working, she knows that she is fully in charge of the kids and is expected to care for them and control them. I won’t pop in to help, say hello or provide any redirection or discipline. However, I can hear whats going on and it allows me to provide feedback to our new AP’s as it seems like discipline can be a challenge for some.
I’m a mom of 4 young children, and hosted an au pair this past year. This was following a great 4-year run with an American sitter (preceded and proceded by a couple of disasters). I’ve enjoyed the great advice posted here (such as ideas for our Au Pair Handbook tome, and ideas for dealing with a horrendous au pair driver who came advertising driving skills, among other things). I’ve worked part-time in the years since our first child’s birth, and have a hubby who travels a bit. We don’t know many other families who have au pairs, and our families are out of town, so I appreciate this blog – - such a great resource! I’ve posted under various “noms de plume” but think I’ll stick with this one from here on out.
I am a 4th time HM (if you count the one that lasted 24hrs) in the Hampton Roads area. DH and I are both military (as is everyone in HR LOL) and have 2 little girls. We started with APs when we were geographically separated and have continued, mainly for the convenience of not having to get them up at the crack of dawn (we both have to be at work before 7) I am about to deploy so now she will be a true necessity again. We have had a rough road with our APs and I’m still not sure if we are going to stick with this form of childcare for much longer (one kiddo is in preschool and the other in school).
I’m from Hampton Roads!!!!!!
I won’t ask where you are for privacy’s sake but nice to meet you!
Haha, I always thought your screen name stood for Her Royal Host Mom.
As did I! BTW, Aria & HRHM, I read a candidate’s app. who preferred to be in Hampton Roads if anyone there is looking right now. She had previously been nearby you in VA in 2007, I believe. (Hope it wasn’t one of your previous ones, but it sounds like she’s got a good recommendation from her previous host family!)
Unoriginal screen name – I’m a HM from AZ
. We are getting ready to extend with our second AP. Considered hosting an AP after our first child was born 6 years ago, but got hooked into a good situation with a nanny…the good situation went bad after a few years and at the same time we learned we would be having surprise #3. So, instead of having a grand 40th bday celebration, our family planned for our 3rd baby by getting a minivan (that could accommodate 3 car seats) and getting rid of my home office (to accommodate an aupair). My husband and I both studied abroad in our youth and were very interested in the cultural learning that would take place when we hosted an AP…not to mention having dependable childcare. We didn’t get the kind of cultural exchange we hoped for with our first AP (though she was a good AP)…we are thrilled with our second. Our little ones are 6g, 4b, and 1g. HD and I both work at a local university and have very flexible schedules, but put in a ton of work hours. An AP has been a perfect childcare solution for us. I really appreciate this blog and love the virtual community, even though I don’t post really often…I read regularly! Thanks to you all for all you share.
I think the name gives it away pretty easily but my names Claire and I’m an au pair from an english speaking country, working in an english speaking country (not US – so no hours, no clusters, no handbook, no ‘rules’ really). And no matter what they say, a cultural difference does exist. I’m about halfway through my year away.
I have a pretty unique situation in that, its a single parent household – just the Dad, whose wife passed away fairly recently and the kids; 13g, 11b, 7b. This has its ups and downs. I have to act a lot of the time as both an friend, sister and mother to thekids (sometimes I feel like I never get time out unless I physically leave the house, but I knew that getting into the situation and I think it works well for my personality type (I think I would struggle with a working from home mum situation). The perks though are huge, I get taken on every holiday, every outing – anywhere where an extra set of hands or just a girly friend for the only girl in the family.
I don’t post that often, cos I don’t feel like I have anything to add, especially as I feel my situation doesn’t lend itself to some of the discussions taking place. However, when I have, you’ve all been so nice
I read often, sometimes learning that the situation I’m in is fantastic, and other times finding myself agreeing with the ‘moanings’ of other au pairs (your au pair is not a house keeper, for example) Mostly though, reading just makes me want to continue the experience, perhaps in another country; do need to get back to the ‘real world’ eventually.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to write so much!
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